Dies to Removal

There should be a storyline forum.

oh god stardust must be shaking from the vitriol in this thread

kp gets a free pass and I don't get mad at stupid.

Only in a Jeep.

Internet mad now? You've been a moderator for too long, badman.

Only in a jeep.

That actually looked a whole lot more like a Madding post than a badman post.

badman trolling in my forum!? Say it ain't so!

Its mad science, you wouldn't understand it, sorry.

He'd understand the mad.

Hey! That's my joke!

Thrust, thrust, thrust, thrust....

Which is somehow related to the thrust?

I don't really understand your diagram though. Seems an odd place to put a penis.

That's cool.

I don't even know what that means.

I didn't ask Rai that as a jab at Stardust either although if I didn't see Stardusts name as the last post there I never would have gone inside so technically Stardust got me suspended

Hook, line and sinker.


@Khaddafi: Glad I could help!

Seriously, if you want to talk science for realz, I'd be way more capable of talking microstructure of HSLA steels, arc physics or even astrophysics. Knowledge of actual industrial application (like codes and standards, for example) has always been my weak point.

Stardust was telling Rai Karensky about how he's been beating off to his anime avatars and sigs for years now and that he especially likes schoolgirls and I joined the convo by asking Rai is he has ever used real women in the banners before because I'd expect men our age to appreciate them more (the joke he has is that its all fan service for the forum).

Rational hatred rising...

That's over simplistic IMO. When a new site sets itself up, there is always a good dynamic, and things seem to be moving at a steady pace. This site was no different, as we were implementing features over the basic shell of phpbb3. Now things have settled up, so you are in that "growing pains" phase where you try to establish the differentiating concept of the site (here it is: "we are not morally corrupt"), while slowly growing to a steady membership. I'd say the different places of this joint will slowly start being populated by different regulars over time.

Yeah, and that's fair enough. I'd envisioned people working hard to offer more in different sections (Azrael's dream, I guess) to draw people here, but you're right
that anything new will have something of that "wait and see" phase. I'm also not giving enough credit to those sections that actually are alive and kicking, but when I see many of the members here opting to go to Sally for their Magic and DTR for the spam thread, I can't help but wonder if this will ever really get off the ground. I guess we'll wait and see.

Also, I know many of you guys think I have this irrational hatred of you, but that's really not where my previous post was coming from. At all.

3000 words was a bit much to ask.

You're the Dragon of Grondok!?! Web of lies!

Damn. I knew I should have kept that dragon singing for another 10 songs or so.

I stood on the sidelines for a time, judging that it would be best to stay far enough away to avoid getting hit by wayward dicks of would-be heroes. Ages ago, the soothsayer had given me a cryptic hint of my future: “If it can scar the sky with fire, do not share its destination.” So I stayed well back, content to watch and maybe laugh. I guess what I didn’t realise is that when a dragon attacks, there are no bystanders. A giant blaze erupted from the dragon’s lair, singing not only my eyebrows, but also two of my posts. Shit just got personal.

As I walked up to the entrance to the cave, little snippets of my mother’s voice came back to haunt me. "The dragon is a perfect marriage of power and the will to use it."... “Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dragons lie.”... "The dragon has no pretense of compassion, no false mask of civilization—just hunger, heat, and need."... But I pushed the thoughts from
my mind. The fear of dragons is as old and as powerful as the fear of death itself, but I knew in my heart of hearts that to slay a dragon, my resolve must be stronger than my steel. This was even truer given that all I had on my person was a length of rope, a pack of sugarfree gum and my iPhone which had run out of batteries about an hour earlier. Luckily (or perhaps not, depending on your stance), my rage carried me through the portal and into the lair of the dragon.

As I walked past the broken corpses of a lifetime of hopeful dragon-slayers, my rage began to slip, giving way to the more rational side of my brain. Rather than turn back I called down into the cave to bolster my own confidence. “Dragon! I am Stardust, known as the slayer of dragons and bedder of women! I am no knight or prince or mage, but dozens of your kin have been laid to rest by my sword. Dragonfire forged me a warrior – my flesh can withstand the flame, and the spirit of the dragon burns within my soul! Doom casts its own flickering
shadow, so prepare yourself for my coming, for this day is your last!” As I spewed out this nonsense and lies, I was hopeful that if the dragon felt terror, it would truly be my servant. All the shouting did wonders for my own confidence (stupidity?) at least, and I carried on.

I was a little concerned by the lack of response from below. Everything was silent except for the drip of water from the ceiling and the catchy rock tune that I’m sure was just nagging at the back of my mind. I had expected to just be burned to a crisp after shouting challenges like that, but maybe my confidence was actually working to bend the creature to my will. I’d been counting the number of dead knights as I continued, though the sheer number of them lying with their genitalia exposed caused me to lose count around 60 or 70. I imagined that some might call me gay for an admission like that, but really I was just wondering about the reason why they might have decided to drop their swords and wield their dick instead. Really.
That’s all I was thinking guys, seriously. Whatever, not like it’s going to matter since I’m not making it out of here alive anyway. I resolved that no matter what happened, no matter what mind games or threats this dragon used against me, I would never, ever drop my pants. It’s undignified.

It wasn’t too much longer until I reached the end of the tunnel. There were some loose rocks to one side, indicating that likely the stream that ran through here to carve out the cave in ages past had been blocked by a small collapse. I wondered briefly whether that collapse would have occurred naturally, or if the dragon might have caused it himself. Of course, at that point I remembered what I was doing and realised that the dragon was nowhere in sight. There hadn’t been any turn-offs or bends in the tunnel as far as I remembered. So where did that lizard go?

Suddenly there was movement to my right! I recoiled, expecting to die at any moment, but there was nothing there. Just a big boulder that had obviously
rolled away from the wall during the collapse all that time ago. Then I caught sight of a tiny yellow horn sticking out from behind the rock. That horn moved slightly to reveal a cat-like eye, which quickly disappeared as it realised I was looking at it. I frowned, confused, and walked over to investigate.

What I saw wasn’t so much an apocalypse in dragon form as a... chocobo in dragon form. Yeah, a chocobo. Cute, yellow, and definitely created by a Japanese cartoonist. It shied away from me as I came around the boulder.

“Hey there you little cutie! What are you doing down here?” I asked in as nice a voice as possible.

The deep, booming voice that responded shocked me. “I am the Dragon of Grondok. This is my home.”

“What!? I mean... what? Really? You’re the Dragon of Grondok? You killed all those people and blew that eruption of fire out of here?”

“Never doubt a dragon just because of its size,” it replied back in its booming voice. I felt like I was in one of those movies where some little
cute thing has a really deep voice. I mean, that’s exactly what this was. But I couldn’t remember the name of the movie...

“So what are you doing here?” the Dragon asked me, the booming voice shocking me once again out of my thoughts.

“Oh, yeah, ummm, I actually came here to...” I couldn’t very well say that I was there to kill him. “Hey, can I ask you a question? You killed all those people, right? Why?”

“That was three questions. Yes, yes, and because they were trying to kill me.” The Dragon took up a more casual pose, leaning up against the boulder as he replied. “Either that or they just got tired of waiting for a dragon to eat them. You see, a dragon's scale can be carved into a mighty shield, provided you can procure a dragontooth to cut it. So that’s it for some of them. Some just hate us and believe that it is best to conquer dragons before they hatch, killing as many of us as possible. I mean, while it's true most dragons are cruel, the rest only seek any opportunity to restore the broken
pride of their race.”

“So that’s it? Just kill you because you’re a dragon?”

“Well, I guess that’s not totally accurate. Some barbarians claim we’re cut from the same cloth, if you’ll forgive the expression. Blah blah, language of flame and rage, blah blah, language of fury and honor. Then they go off about some tale of destruction. It gets old, but that part I can handle. It isn’t until they try what the barbarians call ‘touching the soul of the dragon’... yeah, that’s when it’s gone too far.”

“You mean –“

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Wow.” Suddenly it all made sense. “So that’s why all those guys up there have no pants on!”

“Yes, that’s exactly right. Oh, except one of them. He actually tried to kill me with his dick. He tried really really hard. Like, really hard. I felt bad for him, so I ran away and let him tell some of his friends that he’d killed me, but when he came back to do it again I was in a bad mood. So I killed him.”

“Oh. That sucks.” I couldn’t think of anything to say
for a minute, but I was afraid that if the conversation lulled for too long we might end up getting around to talking about eating me or something, so I asked, “What about spell casters and that sort of thing? Can’t they just mind control you or something?”

“Ah, perhaps, but as they say, ‘A dragon will not be ruled.’” said the dragon as if quoting a famous line (though I’d never heard it).

“That may be true, but what about mind tricks? ‘Even a dragon is humble as a kitten if it thinks itself a slave’,” I said, hoping I sounded official enough to make that sound like a real expression.

Without bothering to comment on my invented quote (which I felt was quite clever), the dragon simply said, “When you've got the temperament of a dragon, every argument is one you'll win,” then flashed a toothy grin and licked his lips.

I thought briefly about the implications of that statement, then went dumb. This dragon was going to eat me after all. It may look like a chocobo, but those teeth showed its true
nature. “Well, if you’re going to eat me anyway, why didn’t you just get it over with while I was coming down the cavern!?”

The dragon shrugged. “I didn’t hear you.”

I felt further deflated. Everything clever I’d done so far today was going completely unappreciated. “How is that even possible? I yelled so loud!”

“Did you? Sorry about that.” The dragon actually looked apologetic. “I had just let out that crazy explosion, and every time I do something that epic and destructive I get that song ‘Smoke on the Water’ stuck in my head. You know that song?”

I nodded, still mute. I’d been hearing that same song in my head ever since I stepped foot in the cave.

“Well, you know how to get rid of a song that’s stuck in your head?”

I shook my head, still mute.

“You sing it of course! So I probably didn’t hear you because I was busy singing. It really is a great song. I used to be in a band and we would play that song sometimes, but dragon fire melts any instrument, so I eventually got kicked out. I
still go to karaoke sometimes though.”

“A karaoke singing dragon. I never thought I’d see the day. Care to join me in singing a round?”

“That sounds fantastic! You’re much more fun than most of the people who come down here to kill me!”

With that we both started singing, the music echoing off the cavern walls.

We all came out to Montereax,
On the Lake Geneva shoreline.
To make records with a mobile,
We didn't have much time.
But Frank Zappa and the Mothers,
Were at the best place around,
But some stupid with a flare gun,
Burned the place to the ground.
Smoke on the water and fire in the sky.
Smoke on the water...

They burned down the gambling house,
It died with an awful sound.
(Uh) Funky Claude was running in and out,
Pulling kids out the ground.
When it all was over,
We had to find another place.
But Swiss time was running out,
It seemed that we would lose the race.
Smoke on the water and fire in the sky.
Smoke on the water...

We ended up at the
Grand Hotel.
It was empty cold and bare.
But with the Rolling truck Stones thing just outside,
Making our music there.
With a few red lights, a few old beds,
We made a place to sweat.
No matter what we get out of this,
I know I know we'll never forget.
Smoke on the water and fire in the sky.
Smoke on the water...

As we neared the end of the song, the dragon was getting pretty into it, busting out some sweet licks on his air guitar, he went down on two knees and threw his head back to really give the rock and roll effect. It was sweet. It was also exactly what I’d been waiting for. I took my length of rope, wrapped it tight around my hands, and choked the dragon from behind. He struggled, fire ricocheted off the walls in every direction, but I held tight until the dragon exploded. There was a shower of dragonscales, then nothing more.

When I finally regained consciousness I looked around the room. Mind tricks don’t work on dragons... “HA!” I grabbed a scale as
a souvenir and strutted out of the cavern with a smug look on my badly burnt face.

Oh shit! 109. I'm out.

Oh wait. Still too early, right?

RARR!

Speaking of which, when they do officially port over to Curse, you guys should try to capture some of the lost working folks at that time. I assume there are many more like me who would come over here to get a similar experience that's not blocked at work.

Your starcasm isn't appreciated either

Starcasm.

Was just ribbing you anyway. I actually thought you guys were going to make something here. It really has petered out though. It's hard to talk about Magic here when most people are migrants from MTGS, and (let's face it) the resources there are just better. There were big plans when this started, but not much has really come of it. Instead you're a shadow without much to offer that MTGS doesn't already have.

Except for a spam thread in CI. And not being part of the Curse network. Those are definite advantages.

What a slow website this has become. It saddens me.

Hard to imagine considering you guys had a mission statement and everything...

The exact quote: "But as far as birds go, Steeple Roc is one of the better ones when it comes to combat. *shrug*"

Hardly means "is a good card"

Haha, dude, don't worry about it.

Castle Raptors is better though.

Users browsing this forum: Spambolic, Stardust and 0 guests

Stardust made a beeline for this thread, clearly uninterested in posting in any of the Constructed forums.

People play constructed?

I posted in EDH once or twice. I had to stop once Checkbox told me Steeple Roc is a good card.

Seriously, I just want to play mafia.

Why do people come here... ?

But yeah, you guys don't even maintain a spoiler. Not a whole lot of point to a rumour mill when that's really not why people come here.

The author must not know the ozone layer has been repairing itself

Yeah, that's actually a pretty good success story. CFC's are bad. Let's stop using them. Okay.

I thought it was pretty funny, but obviously exaggerated.

"diestoremoval.com. Come for the scientific abuse, stay for the whatever the fuck you want."

Oh yeah, and the spam. That's okay too.

I'm still here for the mafia. Pretty pissed that the game hasn't started yet. It's pretty much not gonna happen, which is disappointing.

I understand why stardust lurked and left (conducting his daily sweep of mtgs related posts)

Daily!? Ha! More like hourly. Need to report back, you know.

Now that's what I call general site blathering!

My Mighty sword is my penis

... yep, over the edge and into the air.

So hard.

Didn't Checkbox kill her last time? Or did he just try really really hard?