Dies to Removal

You're no fun.

BRB, on my quest to become uber-trash.
But you know, we have Shrapnel Blast in format. And Darksteel Citadel. And Hammer of Purphoros.

God, Red sucks these days. At least in Standard.
All you can build in regard of Aggro is pump-sligh which is... unstable.
When your best card is Minotaur Skullfucker... I mean Skullcleaver, you know something went really, really wrong.

I think this mothafucka awaits for someone to play Boros Deck Wins.
I think this is a good time for RDW as overall.
I think unkillable Pyreheart Wolf with damage prevention and without that 1/1 creature attached is good.

[deck]Creatures (24):
4 Rakdos Cackler
4 Firedrinker Satyr
2 Frenzied Goblin
4 Ash Zealot
4 Altac Bloodseeker
4 Viashino Firstblade
2 Iroas, God of Victory

Other Spells (14):
2 Chain to Rocks
4 Lightning Strike
4 Stoke the Flames
4 Boros Charm

Lands:
24 Fucking Lands[/deck]

With M15 Boros gets:
- even more, fantastic 1CMC removal (Oppresive Rays)
- even more fantastic burn (Stoke the Flames)
- even more fantastic lands (boros painland)
- even more fantastic 1CMC drops (Frenzied Goblin)
- even more fantastic 2CMC drops (either Borderland Marauder or Altec Bloodseeker)
- even more fantastic
responses to Master of Waves (Hushwing Gryff)
- even more fantastic planeswalkers (new Ajani)

Scrump me harder, bro.
Not looking at meta, I think there's some nice possibility of small red Aggro. Combination of Purphoros + Flamespeaker + Good creatures + good "cannot block" effects seem nice.

K, I was always proud budgcaj.

Well, I've played lots of control in past - then some weird, budget combos and I got turned to Red. As long as you can create Red deck with at least some decision making - there's no reason to not to play it if you like it.
Some Control decks were much, much dumber than some Red decks we all played.

This card is really fucking good.

[deck]Creatures (28)
4 Rakdos Cackler
4 Firedrinker Satyr
2 Legion Loyalist
4 Ash Zealot
4 Borderland Marauder
4 Prophetic Flamespeaker
4 Paragon of Fierce Defiance
2 Purphoros, God of the Forge

Other Spells (10):
2 Chandra, Pyromaster
4 Lightning Strike
4 Stoke the Flames

Lands (22):
2 Mutavault
20 Mountain[/deck]

Wow, such red. Much Mountains. Wow.

Some M15 opinions:

Wall of Essence seems to be a good aggro stopper. Reminds me of Wall of Omens a bit, but you gain lifegain instead of another card. Unlike WoO, it's good early game and worse late-game. Still, card looks playable.
Can't really judge Ajani without seeing what kind of white creatures are going to be played. He needs good creatures, that really synergize with shitload of keywords he provides. He protects himself by strapping vigiliance to a creature and he's SuperFriends-friendly, but I'm not sure dawg. Probably trash as always.
Devouring Light seems "okay".
Return to the Ranks looks bonkers for White Weenie. Anti-Wrath spell which packs some power. I really like it!
Spirit Bonds... I like this kind of cards, but not sure where it might work. Some kind of UW Midrange or Tempo?
Ilusiory Angel seems to be a bad mothafucka. He's gonna kick our asses. Undercosted 4/4 flier is not something I
want to see in my format. Especially if blue will get some kind of 1CMC cantrip.
Jace's Ingenuity - I love this card! I know Sphinx's Revelation is better, but... but it's cheap!
Military Intelligence has huge potential in Blue Aggro. Thassa?Master of Waves aggro was always hungry for some CA.
Ulcerate depends on what kind of creatures are going to be played. It might differ from "Dismember" to "Trash".
Waste Not... Not. I mean, card is powerfull - but I don't think it can be supported hard enough without playing bad cards. I still remember Shrieking Affliction/Liliana/Rakdos' Return deck at first RTR tournament.
Inferno Fist looks really good, especially when Ash Zealot is still in play. T2 Zealot, T3 Fist with mana up to launch it at opponent.
I want to tell you to play Aggresive Mining as 1-off in aggro deck, but I can't force myself to do so.
Shrapnel Blast and Stoke the Flames.... we have some good burn in here. If we'll get an access to enough of Shrapnel Blast
enablers (Darksteel Citadel is one already). Stoke the Flames finally allows me to play Red and have access to 4-damage burn without splashing white.
Phytotitan... good thing Rancor is not in here as well. I hope so.
Nissa seems to be a bitch. You play her, untap 4 lands, play 4-cmc thingie. Next turn, you proceed to dominate the world.
Terra Stomper... Awwww.
Painlands = Awesome manabase.
Perilous Vault could be playable in some unorthodox control decks. Mono Blue? Mono Red?
Phyrexian Revoker... fuck you Planeswalkers. I love him coming back.
Shield of the Avatar *could* be playable in aggro if you really need to burn stuff with Shrapnel Blast.
Sould of New Phyrexia is cool. It's still a big mofo with no protection on turn he enters the field... but if someone lets him exist, then he's fucked.

Yo redthirst.

f you think taking a Magic career to figure out when you should cast Brainstorm makes you better than a Standard player, you're wrong. You're hiding beneath banned and broken cards in an obsolete forum that the games creators no longer care about. Posting the words "skill" and "intensive" doesn't make something "skill intensive" until you provide a thorough and well-explained argument to support it. I'll wait.

I would never again play a format with a shitty spell like Stoneforge Mystic.

Goddamit. My thoughts exactly.
- It's expensive as fuck.
- It's little to no fun.
- There is no fucking balance.

Controlled environment of standard is just more fun, healthy and competetive.
And cheaper.

Yep, for people who watched Witcher 3 trailer/gameplay.
Fuck yea, Poland.

HER NAME IS DONNA.
THOUGHT WE ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS MATTER.

If that's directed at me, sorry, I don't get the reference at all.

God, I forgot about Machine Head's cover of Hallowed by the Name. There's also an awesome cover of Aces High by Children of Bodom. Very finnish, still, kinda cool.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK1lMfYX0zo
Oh, or just scroll till you'll hear guitar/keyboard solos.
I'm at this weird stage of being half-drunk and half-in-hangover. Got drunk as fuck then managed to sleep for 3-4 hours. Shit, I do have some major issues with my sleeping schedule recently.

We die, You live.
Yep, that was nice and exciting journey. We just went our ways I guess. People here either dropped from MTG or got semi/full professional. And people's attitude has changed a lot.
Just look how this forum got too small for Zem's ego. Can't blame him for that - he did a lot of good stuff and managed to get high. I get it why he can't stand budgcaj talk here anymore.

Good thing dick jokes never run old.
Penis.

Mhm, it works like that here as well as long as we talk about Not-a-Family. In case of family, you need to find them an equal or better flat to live in for similiar price. Easily and disgustingly abused. Basically when you rented a room for a family, you got yourself fucking cockroaches. And if you'd even try to touch them - you could be sued pretty damn hard.

So there was a guy who found an answer for the issue. He got extremally rich from buying underpriced flats with families and getting rid of them.
He had a bunch of buddies. Nothing special, except of a fact that they were truly hardcore drunkards. He paid for shitload of alcohol, drugs and cheap hookers. And he asked them to party as hard as possible as long as law allows for that (between 8-22).
Then imagine. You are a head of family. You think you nailed the life as you managed to fuck up some landlord, and you are not paying rent. And then you come to the kitchen
to see how drunk/drugged mofo is fucking 50 years old hooker on the table. He only takes a break to vomit into sink and platters you are using for meals. Oh, and you see that your 5 years old son is also watching how old hooker's labia is weaving like a cloth for a bull.
Nobody managed to survive for a week.

I have a question towards the citizens of Murica.
I want to ask you about your freedom'n'stuff.
Is there any law that would prevent you from kicking out a family that rents a room in your house? We have something like that in Poland and it was abused for a long time (you rented a room for a family, then don't pay rent, you can't do shit). I'm writing a book based on my old scenario, it's in 60'-80' american setting and welp, I wanted to implant one of the coolest "polish" stories I've heard in last few days into this setting. Not sure if there's even a theoretical base for that.

Virgin-seal.

I remember when he did it for France.

No sour brother

Fixed that for ya!

I think fucking japaneese people sideways could be a good idea.
They still try to run away, but at least you get all the fun.

Didn't had access to internet for a longer while. I also had to deal with stuff. Broke up with girlfriend just for an example. Weird shit, weird times.
I'm totally off MTG now, so consider me to be mostly a companion for a dick paegantry.

Oh, and even as a fan of ERB I have to say this shit is next level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krQHQvtIr6w

What would you expect me to say after ~100 pages without me.
Penis.

Spoiler Review

Aegis of the Gods: decent. Stops Thoughtseize and Boros Charm. <3
Banishing Light: yay, Oblivion Ring!
Godsend: seems like a Legacy material for Stoneforge Mystic.

Font of Fortunes: Finally some early game draw.
Sigiled Starfish: Nice wall that fixes your top all day.

Gnarled Scarhide: Another 2/x for 1 for Black.

Eidolon of the Great Revel: decent hatebear.
Dictate of the Twin Gods: woah, that's an actual wincon. Drop this, drop two Boros Charms, drop opponent's jaw.
Harness by Force: after season of playing with Act of Treason, we finally get something fine. I'd say really fine.
Prophetic Flamespeaker: ugh, powerlevel is here, but not sure if it's playable at all. It screams "give me Madcap Skills!"
Spite of Mogis: that's kinda cool removal for burn.

Athreos, God of Passage: welcome our new overlord. This guy gives White Weenie everything it wants.
Difficult decisions for opponent? Reach? Not folding down to Verdicts and stuff? Hell yes. WB Weenie is going to be the new shit on the block.
Disciple of Deceit: he seems to be Legacy/Modern playable for some combos.
Iroas, God of Victory: great card but not a great format for her.

Btw. Yo, I have no fucking internet for 2 weeks at my new house. It fucking sucks.

Hyperbolised theories during spoiler season.
Bitch, did you just call me?

Ioras seems like a great card for not cool enough deck. Creature-based decks are easy to hate out this format (which is why burn works well).
Omenspeaker is better than this wall. And he's not good. Reason? Speed. The reason why some walls are cool is that they are decent lategame. This wall sucks a dick.

Yarpus... where the hell are you, like city country etc?

Poland as fuck.

Yo.
Quick report.
So for 2-3 weeks I was kinda homeless. Most of time I've stayed at my girlfriend's apartment so it wasn't that bad (except of the situations when you ask your girlfriend during her PMS to leave a room for a moment so you can masturbate) aand I've managed to find a new flat close to her which is cool. Lack of internet in that place on the other hand - not. I gotta find some kind of cheap provider as my housemates don't need that (they have this fancy LTE shit).
Didn't got the job as QA in GOG.com . Shit happens.
On the other hand I got a raise at my job.
Aaaaand I'm kinda creating a new game project. This time, small scale - just with one close friend who has shitload of money and is a programming genius. Oh, and he never gave up on me. We're most probably gonna create mobile/IndiePC game. And it's gonna be cool as fuck.

Didn't got back into MTG at all but I hope that doesn't make me not cool
enough to hang out with ya guys.

So yeeeah, long time no see redbros.

PS. Kill la Kill is cool. Check it.

I disagree with Sham being such a low tier deck in arena.
Everything depends on amount of Fire Elementals you expect to draft.
Yes, I had 4 Fire Elementals, 3 +2/0 atttack tottems, 3 manatide totems, 2 polymorphs. Beat that suckah.

We all do.
Damn it.

All I can say for the hilarious photos is: Butt(crack)hurt.

The issue is: burn doesn't suit me at all, while I know no shit about what's played now and what kind of deck should I build.
And I'm still kinda budgcaj so I'd probably go for some kind of cheap GR Aggro and die to MonoB and Burn all day.

[deck]Creatures (24):
4 Firedrinker Satyr
4 Rakdos Cackler
4 Burning-Tree Emissary
4 Firefist Striker
4 Fanatic of Xenagos
4 Ghor-Clan Rampager

Other Spells (14):
4 Shock
4 Magma Jet
4 Lightning Strike
2 Xenagos, the Reveler

Lands (22):
4 Stomping Ground
4 Temple of Abandon
2 Gruul Guildgate
12 Mountain[/deck]

Lack of Mutavaults makes this deck preetty bad. I'm thinking about going three colours so I can be a greedy bitch while explaining people how I don't play mutas.

There's a chance I'll score a return to paper MTG. The new flat I'll possibly rent is face-to-face to mah old LGS.

@ Yarpus: Poverty is not a good diet if you are unable to afford healthy food.

On the one hand that was a joke. On the second hand, I really do starve myself for few days from time to time - and not because of budget.
Well, I have to admit that I still suffer consequences of taking so many drugs and painkillers back in the days. I was addicted to ibuprofen-based ones. So, to help my stomach regenerate I give him few days of "rest" (I know it stresses your stomach a lot) - but that seems to help a lot in terms of how I feel.

Maximum days without any actual food: 4 days.
I'm a strong motherfucker.

In terms of poverty, I remember once it was half of month and I've had no sweet pesos. Thankfully my buddy's mom works in Dr. Oetker (company producing puddings, frosties and other half-done products like that) and he gave me a huge pack of food. So, for 2 weeks the only thing I was
eating was fucking pudding and pancakes with sugar. God, it's been three years since that and I still can't force myself to even look at bowl of pudding.

Oh, and I don't eat nearly any vegetables. Because fuck them, meat and drugs for the win.

You know what's the best diet?
Poverty.

Shit is hard.

Yo. I work in a bank. Today we had a huge system breakdown and electricity shortage.
When I started joking about Putin coming for our asses, some people were like "goddamnit, stop joking like that!" and generally panicking.
III World War gets into our heads I guess.

Draft sucks dick ass. I know it since my opponent had Thragtusk and I had Wit's End.
I fucking hate draft.
Draft should die to thousands of cancers.

Yo, didn't knew that you're Modo God Kait.
Never knew where you were unleashing all dat MTG swag of yours.
Mah boi.