Search found 66 matches

by Pendulum
Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:31 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support

Sigh. Have I taught you nothing?

The problem is you need to overwrite/flood the site's priorities until it forgets that it's hooked to a series of interconnected websites. The simplest way to do this is to go on, say, hackforums.com and search the keyword "flood"; if you really feel like doing it the hard way you can download "noboundaries" from a google search (no IRL since the site is always moving, sorry) and download that.. it will keep trying for you until a back door is found and you can long in under your "banned" account. NB will even remove account alerts for you so that you can keep posting until you're found out by a manual admin. From there you need to stop yourself from posting in low-traffic and high-policed areas, and there isn't a hacker's manual written for that yet... again.
Of course I have to bring up here that simply creating a new profile or (and I understand your trepidation here) asking for removal from the banned list is the simplest option, but if you're grounded enough in a single profile to keep yourself in circulation then you're obviously the type of person who doesn't care about inevitable consequences. What you need to do then, i.e. if you're a psychopath, is to hijack an admin profile, while is simple enough after, say, 100 hours of work, which is nothing compared to the amount of time I've put into a single Diablo character: just download a rainbow tabler and follow your chosen admin's login times until you have enough info to dopplegang their movements. It's worked before.
by Pendulum
Thu Mar 27, 2014 6:28 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Only if they provide video.
by Pendulum
Thu Mar 27, 2014 4:34 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

OMG lolololol, "Can you provide video?" totes needs to be a thing, guys. Make that happen. Feyd, I'm looking in your general direction here. >.>

And just to retain the illusion that I'm relevant, let me clarify what the problem is:
Mozilla Firefox, unlike Chrome, IE, or whateverthefuckApplecallstheirbrowser, is a non-profit, open source browsing engine; thus, it lacks the polish of commercial services but does provide more solid interactions between systems. Especially when it's trying to interface with a server like Curse's, that, um, shall we say "skimp on some of the details," it will often try to complete the processes before the base server can even access them... which leads to shit like banning your account because you've had the misfortune of not spending all of your time on Curse's bugged-up systems. The ironic part here is that simply clearing your FF cache and at most doing a
quick reinstall should clear up the problem; but instead of suggesting the same worthless thing they always do, in this one case where it would be the correct thing to do, they have chosen to ask for video instead!
by Pendulum
Wed Mar 26, 2014 5:39 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Ah, it's good to know that Feyd got past that moment of weakness and has gone back to doing his regular, quality work.
Although to be fair thanking someone's post is just so friggin' lackluster when compared to thanking someone for the post like we do here, maybe he's trying to get people to find us where thanking for the post is a real event by giving his standard non-answers.
by Pendulum
Tue Mar 11, 2014 10:43 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Hey, man, can you not turn my thread into a public journal of your quest to completely sell out, please? I know I haven't been churning out the hits ever since the IP ban, but if you're going to threadjack me could you at least look up the definition for the words 'principles,' 'irrefutable,' 'transparency ('cuz apparently it can be grey now?)', and 'progress' first?
by Pendulum
Mon Mar 10, 2014 1:33 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

So basically Curse is the new Hannes?
I wouldn't go that far.
Hannes was completely nonexistant at the end.

They have plans. They're working diligently on some things.
That said, everything not in that list of things are being ignored.
I respect my position enough not to go into specifics.
I will say that [recent events] has seemed to be a wake up call to them.
I'm truly hopeful that things will change soon.
Perhaps I am a dreamer, but I'd prefer to dream and lose than to not have any hope. :/[/
quote]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7leP9O5Omg
by Pendulum
Sun Mar 09, 2014 9:42 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

I mean, I don't know what you'd like me to say, dude. In all honesty, and forgive me for waxing poetical (you caught me in the middle of my Lenten listen-through of JCS ^_^ ), it really does feel like you've climbed the mount in these arid lands asking us to take away thine cup of poison. Which would be alright, except you're asking the wrong group of guys. I wouldn't hold back the answer if I had it, either; you're not such a bad guy, I actually wish you'd blather more with us, but also because it would go against the grain of what I founded this thread to be...

..but, well, you [i:k7uei7yd]did[/i:k7uei7yd] decide to post your little diatribe in the thread dedicated in large part to your ineffectual moderation skills/style. I suppose I could go back and reiterate the common points (real quicklike, they mostly revolve around you
being lazy), but to be honest, there's just no easy way to tell you that someone who really cared about their job [u:k7uei7yd]could very easily[/u:k7uei7yd] have gotten something accomplished if they really wanted to; point of reference, it took me about 10 minutes last week to get my boss to sign a check for enough money to buy ol' Sally twice over at least, and that sort of thing is common both on and off the internet.. if you don't like the status quo, you either change it, or you get out of the way so someone else with more chops in the ol' social engineering department can do it for you; doing otherwise just prolongs the inevitable, perhaps disastrously, and confirms that laziness I give you so much shit for ITT. When you tell us that you have zero power, or that you don't understand why we keep up the shitstorm despite your obvious powerlessness, we (and most people) recognize that as simply trying to pass the buck, and we're right to do so.
by Pendulum
Sun Mar 09, 2014 7:45 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Screenshotted, btw.
by Pendulum
Sun Mar 09, 2014 7:44 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Oh, lulzilla! Decided to have your Gethsemene, eh?

The reason we keep laughing, sir, or getting mad, or whatever, isn't because you have no power! We've known that for yeeeeeeeaaaaaars. The Reason we keep reacting is because you still act like you do.
But if you do feel the need for some busywork, you could mention to Ned from the Geek Squad that banning my IP is mildly annoying.
by Pendulum
Fri Feb 28, 2014 5:56 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Not really, sorry. It's basically just that people notice all the time that Wizards could be doing a hell of a lot better of a job with their spoilers; especially now with the transition and the predictable slow-down at Sally, it would make the most sense for Wizards to pimp the hell out of their own spoiling process in order to keep their most well-known competitor from regaining their readership. Sorry if I mislead you, man. :/
by Pendulum
Tue Feb 25, 2014 4:34 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Journey into Nyx comes out in May, should be seeing spoilers around mid-April... that is, unless that persistent rumor about Wizards revamping the spoiler schedule is true, in which case who knows?
by Pendulum
Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:51 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

#thanksObama
by Pendulum
Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:50 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Realistically, it's the best of all worlds. The site finally gets to die, the mod club gets another private chat forum/lifeboat, and the lame duck administration gets to pretend that it's because of the new forums instead of their blatant mismanagement. Win-win!
by Pendulum
Fri Feb 21, 2014 9:52 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Bear with me guys, the IP ban makes it really difficult to properly quote.

Since no one's jumped on this one in the last 15 days, I figure it's time to clear the air a bit. Poor Dutch253 is still getting redirects, and so on Feb. 6th, 2 days post-transition, molester decides to come in and say his piece.
The redirects are due to maleware on the users end. There is nothing that can be done on this end to prevent it. It is not the ads doing it, but maleware on the user end using the ads to redirect.
http://malwarefixes.com/remove-adtrack- ... -redirect/
Now, before we go any further, let's all take a moment to admire this:
maleware
and then again
maleware
...words cannot describe.
Just for the sake of completeness, I did a quick Google Image Search for that word, but sadly all the results were too graphic to post on this site. My favoritest part is that the link he uses even gives him the correct spelling of the word, but, well, in typical Freudian fashion, he must have had something else on his mind. [Hint: it's probably cock.. what else would you expect from a guy who could have chosen any screen name he wanted but still went with "molester"?]
Anyway.
This is a blatant and obvious lie, and anybody who's had more than, say, a semester of computer training in grade school knows this. Dickware Malware simply cannot be distributed or activated in this fashion; even if it were, the files would have to transferred to your computer, and the only possible source of those files would be from your site... oddly enough, computers can't download information to themselves. Also oddly enough, that link
he provides actually says this:
It is noted that a certain code bundled with fake software download are the culprit for this adtrack.king.com hijacking problems. Additionally, it is said to be that the beneficiary for this redirect is a program called Candy Crash Saga.
[Underline mine]
but I suppose we can't expect reading the source material from a guy who doesn't even bother running spellcheck.

Here's a test you can run yourself. It should be the same process regardless of browser with minor differences, but I'm using Firefox.
Right click anywhere on the screen that isn't a hyperlink. This brings up a menu of options, click "View Page Info." This, in turn, brings up a little window telling you horribly boring stuff about the website; click the "Media" [or "Processes"} tab to see a list of all the stuff that the site itself is trying to do to your computer. Scroll about 2/3 of the
way down this list and you will eventually find something that looks a bit like this:
Image
The part I've bracketed is fairly self-explanatory: to "embed" something is to "put it in" or, in molester-speak, "penetrate slowly and deeply with a thrusting action." It also, coincidentally, means that every single word the man just said is a full-on, bald-faced lie.
by Pendulum
Mon Feb 03, 2014 3:46 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Also that picture of a fat squirrel Kait posted.
by Pendulum
Mon Feb 03, 2014 3:46 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

1000 views, 12 reads
That's not entirely true, I'm sure people read what Watchy and Kaze wrote. ^_^
by Pendulum
Sun Feb 02, 2014 1:22 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Here we go, guys. Taking all bets!
Will Punxsutawney Phil (the 4th) see his shadow? Will this godforsaken neverending killstorm of a winter have an early end this year, or are we all destined to relive the horror again and again and again?
Who will win the big skin of the pig throwing contest this year? The state where pot is super legal, or the state where it's just not illegal? Who will beat the spread? Who will have an angry emo meltdown in front of the cameras? Which team's cheerleaders will nip out the best in this cold?
Will Budweiser make me cry again this year with its over-the-top emotional string pulling?
Will Sally transition to a newer and brighter future? Will the beta crash as soon as they get real traffic, or will they pull a Microsoft and crash the system as soon as they go live? Who survives the lulzpocalyse, and who gets their brains eaten?
Will I run out of popcorn?
by Pendulum
Thu Jan 30, 2014 3:48 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Also,
1000 views! :toot: Thanks, guys!
by Pendulum
Thu Jan 30, 2014 3:37 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Both of which will probably never happen if Pendy's predictions about The Move are even remotely accurate.
I mean, I could be completely wrong; there's every possibility that the users of MTGS just won't ever pull their heads out of their asses long enough to realize that they're essentially retrograding to 2002 software, or that searching spoilers even from a *gasp* tablet is pretty easy on Facebook, the mothership, or as Sene suggested, Twitter. It's entirely possible that they're just that stupid. Personally, I consider myself an optimist.
by Pendulum
Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:45 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Oh, come on!

*ahem*
Earlier today, user trainwrecka posted in the Tapatalk thread. He, um, he's in favor of it.
4 days until Transition Day, btw.
4. Days.


But!

Dear Annie pokes her his head in here to give us an ardent plea, gets its own tiny, tiny announcement at the top of the page and everything:
Malware on Signature Image Hosting Site
We have identified joshuagerber.com as serving a Javascript redirector malware instead of the images. This site is used by a number of MTGS members to host signature images, most popularly those with images from Spiderboy's avatar shop. We are removing the links from signatures as they're reported and identified, and will be adding the link to the censor shortly to prevent further spread of the malware.

Please use the Staff Inbox to report signatures containing these links so that we can remove the links
and notify members as soon as possible. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.
Holy fuckballs. Fair warning, which to be fair I should have remembered, it's really, really important that you aren't drinking a beverage while browsing MTGS, I almost snorted Jack Daniel's fine Southern-style bourbon milk out of my nose!
There is no end to the hilarity inherent to this statement.

1. First and foremost: waaaaat? You guys didn't know about this? Jesus Christ on a bike, I'm just browsing from a shitty laptop computer I bought (with cash) at a pawn shop for $100 and using Linux, and I honestly thought that the reminder on the right bar was just noting the nullware (malware that has been nullified): I never for a second thought that you guys with all your fancy computational equipment didn't know about this for the months I've been doing this! I think at one point I even reported it to Josh's server, 'cuz every
once in a while I do remember that underneath the layers of spray paint my hat's still white. I guess that's what you get for being "thre notzi mod", Annie: sorry that being a dick to people means that they're going to laugh at your hamfisted attempts to run a website instead of being helpful and telling you about the malware.
2. Second, "will be adding the link to the censor shortly"? Waaaat? There's only two reasons why I can think that you haven't done so, you know, already: 1. Ned from the Geek Squad wasn't sure how to do so, and needs to spend some time Googling to figure out what he needs to do; 2. you've somehow reached the point where not hurting the feelings of neckbeards on the internet is more important than protecting your userbase from virus-spewing malware redirects. Either way, are you fucking kidding me!?
3. Third, using the Staff Inbox? THE STAFF INBOX? You've... got to be kidding. So, rather than giving us a direct report
feature to tell, oh I dunno, Bibi, that molester guy, or Ned from the Geek Squad, you want me to report it to you, Feyd, and I guess Senori? Who will then.... report it to Bibi, that molester guy, or Ned from the Geek Squad? Yeah, that's efficient. Tell me, how does it feel to blatantly have your superiors make up busy-work for you to do to feel validated?
4. You... you want us to report offending sigs/avvys, but don't tell us how to do that? Thereby guaranteeing that you'll be wading through a pile of useless false positives instead of spending the 3 minutes in your announcement to tell us what qualifies as a malicious redirect, what tools and steps we should take to figure out if the possibly offensive sig/avvy fits the proverbial bill, etc.? Like I said before, it's the opposite of difficult, my computer does it automatically. Sure, I could help you out here, tell my readership at least what to look for, but we both
know it's lulzier if I don't.
5. Pretty appropriate that you're wearing that Red Shirt in your avvy there, Annie. Did you have to draw straws to see which middle-man was going to get thrown to the dogs make this announcement, or did you volunteer to become the worthless mouthpiece? Pro tip: you suck at it.
6. "Javascript redirector malware" isn't a thing. I get that maybe you don't want to use the phrase "cross site scripting attack," thanks to Google the words carry a connotation that might cause the average 12-year-old to panic, but could you at least come up with a variant that maeks reel sense, pl0x?
7. Here's a complete list of the offending sigs:
https://www.google.com/#filter=0&q=inur ... om&start=0
You're seriously telling me you don't know how to Google "inurl:forums.
mtgsalvation.com [img] joshuagerber.com"?
[By the way, I in no way condone using one of those sigs and the ability to wrap image tags as a form of malicious trolling, even though it'd be totes easy]

Ugh, I think I could go on like this, but I won't, so I'll just close with:
He's in Scherz, Texas. Get him.
by Pendulum
Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:51 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

I hate to interrupt the chatter concerning the lulzpocalypse, but sorry guys I still have a job to do here.

Whats with all the tracking?
Early this morning, Vergage wrote:
I've been on a lot of sites in my time, but none with as much tracked information as what Ghostery has found with this site.

I understand that advertising and revenue is key to keeping this site active, especially with the amount of users, but come on, this amount of stuff is insane!
I instantly love you, Vergage.

Our dear Feyd responsed:
Everything that Curse specifically adds in is for analytics. Google, scorecard, imr, etc. They give handy tools for the server admins. (ie: Traffic, load, ratings, etc.)
The rest all come in from the ad network. :/
Wait... what? &
quot;The rest all come [sic] in from the ad network ineffective emoticon case closed"? I don't know what else I expected, but that doesn't even attempt to answer the question... again. The guy is clearly asking why they need all this shit, and here's a free pro tip for ya, if they know what Ghostery is, they probably know what an analytic is.

A plaintive plea from Pendulum

Hey, Feyd, man, could you do everyone a favor? Could you stop posting in Tech Support? I know this seems like a lot to ask, but bear with me.
See, it's apparently some kind of foreign concept to you, but the people who post there tend to post there tend to seek what are called "answers" to their questions, and you don't seem to be able to provide those for them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting you turn in your title or anything, I'm sure you're an effective member of the administration... in fact, that's kind of the problem.
See, when you post your skarky non-answers to
those people, the rest of the staff just kind of figures you've got it "taken care of." They see that you've "helped" a user, and hell they've got better things to do like going back to one of the millions of off-topic discussions going on on the site to comb over for infractable offences, and frankly the staff-forward thing the staff has going on means that even if they do realize you specialize in being a prick who only gives the bare minimum effort to moderating the forum, they're not going to step on your toes. What this means, though, is that unlike the tryharding we can expect from Sene, or Gals' patented brand of really, really, really trying to care despite what he pretends is the weight of the fucking world, users are left with you, giving answers like this, and even casual observers know that what you're giving is less helpful than a gaping chest wound.
Please just stop posting. It's for the
good of the site. And really, when you think about it, I'm just suggesting you should take it easy. I'm sure Mrs. Ruin would love it if you surprised her with a fancy dinner, maybe doing the dishes without her asking, maybe surprise her with some new sensual techniques (the rest of the staff could be a great resource for suggestions there). Give it a try, I'm sure that with a little time you'll figure out I'm looking out for you when I suggest you never, ever, ever post in the forum you're supposed to be fucking moderating ever, ever again.

Your neighborhood good samaritan,
Pendulum

@Vergage: yeah, Curse be cray-cray when it comes to analytics, using bots to do their dirty work saves on labor I guess. You're familiar with Ghostage so I'll assume you know how to take care of what you need taken care of.
by Pendulum
Mon Jan 27, 2014 4:34 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

A serious reminder:

If you haven't ordered your popcorn for the coming apocalypse transition, time is quickly running out. Why not try Garrett's Chicago mix, or their spicy cheese mix, or their Canadian Maple Mix? Then again, why not try several? Average shipping time is 3-5 days, so hurry!
by Pendulum
Sun Jan 26, 2014 11:49 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Unless the Curse tech support is really as hopeless as I've been saying, there's like a 99.99% chance that Sene is just lying here: the settings that control the Search User function (as in the above), the ISP cookies (as in this thread), and the smart ads (as in the Candy Crush saga) are known as the EVAL settings (short for Evaluative); these settings are built into the root software and are so important to a forum's ability to function they are virtually the same regardless of which forum software you're using, be it VBulletin or Facebook. They are pretty much the reason that switching to a different forum is even possible; unexplained problems, even "slight" ones, would have to be found and fixed before transition, otherwise they're
risking not one but two servers. Therefore, there are only a few possibilities as to what is really happening:
1. Sene is lying. This seems the most likely, as I don't really see a reason the Curse guys wouldn't just make a wall of text exposition post in the Admin Lounge telling the admins at least what the hell is wrong with their website... it makes sense that what Sene means here is that he's "not sure what causes it."
2. Curse is getting so burnt out on Sally's community and lackluster performance that they're willing to pull the trigger Russian-roulette style, and either everything works out okay or it crashes the system and they don't care which ends up happening. I don't usually like to stereotype, but I gotta admit this one seems likely too, there's a certain poetic justice in Bibi the French guy just throwing his hands up in surrender.
3. My tongue-in-cheek joke about the tech crew being Ned from the Geek Squad who they
force to do free labor for them on his lunch breaks is waaaay closer to the truth than I thought possible.
by Pendulum
Sun Jan 26, 2014 11:26 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Image
by Pendulum
Thu Jan 23, 2014 10:29 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Oh, shit, I forgot to include doomworld.com, where you can see Xen acting like Xen from before he even came to Sally!
by Pendulum
Thu Jan 23, 2014 10:26 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

view spoilers in chronological order

Yesterday, Sam I am, who I feel sorry for because they will for all perpetuity be forced to have a silly Suessian avatar, wrote:
I frequently go to the Spoilers page to catch up on spoiled cards that I haven't seen.

When spoilers are first spoiled, I have no problem identifying the ones that I haven't seen yet. IT's simply the ones more recent than the last one I've looked at.

But there are only 12 elements under the "Latest Changes" header, so this gets difficult when there are more than 12 changes made in a day(like there were today).

Is there a way that I can look at the spoilers in chronological order, so that I don't have to sort through all the old ones when trying to read the most recent ones?
and we have a response from Sene only 20 hours later!
The MTG Salvation Twitter
has all the cards in chronological order.
This comment was so straight and to the point that it gave me one of those 'holy shit!' moments you come across every so often; it made me realize that this whole "answering the question" thing is all wrong, and instead I should have been making snide, passive-aggressive non sequitars that don't really answer the question (hint: it's "no" ) but push the user towards another website so users can stop asking questions on-site and the staff can get back to doing staff stuff, whatever that may be.
I've always tried to pay people back when they give me new knowledge, so I've decided to provide to Sene here a list of other statements he can use to be snarky, condescending, and terse towards the userbase while at the same time getting them the hell off of Sally, allowing him to use his valuable time more usefully; just copy and paste, Sene. No thanks necessary.

For technical issues
Can you tell
me more about the issue? icanhascheezburger.com has the largest collection of cat pictures on the whole internet!

Can you provide a screenshot? Explosm.net is the home to Cyanide and Happiness, known for their hilarious and raunchy humor (warning NSFW).

You should try turning your device off and then on again, and after it reboots try vine.com for funny GIFS and videos!

Looks like it's on your end from here, I can't reproduce the problem. Go to answers.yahoo.com for the internet's largest community of professionals on every issue from computer errors to building a nuclear submarine!

It doesn't seem like that's working for you, have you tried asking your question on hackforums.net?

Come to think of it, I have a golden opportunity to streamline the entire process. What can I say, I'm helpy!
For other issues

The staff reserves the right to enforce the rules as they see fit. reddit.com has no such policy.

Keep in mind we're a bunch of volunteers,trying
our best. For some reason we haven't figured out how to do that yet though so maybe you'd have better luck over at forums.wikipedia.org.

There are multiple sides to this issue, and we need to keep an open mind even though in the end we'll just go with whatever I think is right. Try 4chan.org for a better understanding of the issue.

It sounds like you'd be a better fit over at diestoremoval.com.

We need to take a look at the bigger picture here. Speaking of pictures do you have an account at deviantart.com?

It seems like you're angry, have you tried blowing off some steam at bouncebreak.com?
by Pendulum
Thu Jan 23, 2014 6:39 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

This morning, kingpin, wrote:
Hi.

Over the last week or so, Bullguard has started blocking some of your forum pages as malicious, categorising it as a malware distribution point.. Just thought I would let you know.
Consider this my official response: ...which, if you don't mind the aside, is a kick ass song. Sure, sure, it's pretentious as hell, and I have no idea how Michael Stipe got a 4-minute video of a shirtless boy essentially playing around in a rape shack into the mainstream without raising some red flags, but fuck it, the song kicks ass.
by Pendulum
Tue Jan 21, 2014 9:42 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Oh, hay, Dutch253 is back!
'm getting redirected on my home computer now as well. Its sending me to this address:
http://www.onlinevideopctools.com/lp...&start=2&cds=0
As well as 2 different users in the Badvertisements thread posting four different screenshots! I... feel the need to filter these screenshots through Roflbot so they have to deal with the virus instead of, you know, us.
These are simple redirects, and barely worth mentioning, except for the serendipity of them happening so close together on what was supposed to be Transition Day. Sadly, Curse didn't feel the need to listen the... several... times I offered them advice, held back, and now we get to see what happens what happens when a bunch of advertisers who don't give a shit and leave their scripts untended meets with a website who doesn't give a shit and leaves their scripts untended. No doubt in a few days the site's going to be spewing virii all over the place, turning what was supposed to be a happy occasion into an inadvertent Transmission Day instead. Good job, guys. :no:
by Pendulum
Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:32 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Welcome back, Manders. :)
At least around here, the cart pushers aren't busy enough to just push the carts, so they have a number of duties outside of their, ahem, vocational title. That, and spending all day outside in Minnesota pushing heavy stacks of carts around for minimum wage is probably lethal, so they like switch it up or whatever.

Spoiler RSS not up to date
I've been mostly leaving this one alone, as rubeerubin's comments have been heee-larious so far and I don't want to steal the guy's thunder, but then there's this gem:
Earlier today, dear ol' Sene wrote:
The RSS feed is up and running again.
[...]
Except it's, you know, NOT. I've been trying to turn this over in my head, because I checked on three different computers and ran it
through isup.me like half a dozen times, but it's just not fuckin' there, Sene. Maybe it has something to do with your vaulted permissions sets, or maybe Ned from the Geek Squad is starting to snap and he's lashing out by feeding you misinformation (and you didn't feel it important enough to follow through), but whatever the case, no, the RSS feed is not up and running for all users. Another great job, guys! :thumbsup:
by Pendulum
Thu Jan 16, 2014 5:35 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Oh God the lawlz

Earlier today, in the Badvertisements thread, UA Lives wrote:
I keep getting a banner ad in Chinese with provocative cartoon girls. One has bouncing breasts and some "white goo" on her fingers. Pretty gross. Another one has some cartoon girl presenting her exposed panties in a suggestive manner.
Now, that's lulzy enough, but sweet Jiminy Cricket the more you think about it the more lulz you can find!
1. UA, it's standard procedure for the staff to ask for screen shots of your problem. Please
Image

2. What, exactly, do you think Curse is going to be able to do about this? "Hey advertisers, I know we recently dropped a bunch of you 'cuz we're switching over to a new site and it was a major headache for everyone especially when we arbitrarily pushed that date back, but
could you stop posting porn on our site? Oh, yeah, going and fucking myself is a valid option too. Thank you for your time."

3. Isn't it just hilariously convenient that this popped up 2 days after the announced transition date, and 1 day after that date was amended? It's almost like someone knew that this would be a good time to play around with the ads.

4. These same ads are going live on the beta pretty soon (my guess would be, oh I dunno, Jan. 21st), and these are that are going to come up during the grand opening.. although come to think of it, I can see an advantage to splatting hentai pr0n everywhere if you're looking to draw in those MTGS neckbeards who are on the fence about whether they should stay or not. "Master Beta" indeed.
by Pendulum
Thu Jan 16, 2014 9:25 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

I have a technical problem... mtgs is banning talk on counterfeits, but counterfeits are the biggest topic of discussion in the game right now, and mtgs is the biggest online forum community for the game, so... something must be broken on a technical level that they aren't allowing it there

some kind of forum glitch bug maybe?
Oh yeah, this has been going on for some time, although it's not really a glitch. You know those double-underlined auto-links you sometimes get after you've visited a porn site, the ones that just randomly highlight words and if you float the mouse over them you get a little pop-up that's usually NSFW? Well, see, Xenphire's computer got one of those...
...
somehow...
...
and now every time the word "Chinese&
quot; appears on his screen a little pop-up comes up telling him about exotic beauties that are desperate to meet American Men Males. Naturally, he believes this to be something the MTGS poster has done, and that violates the code of conduct, so he infracts it. A common enough mistake, although correcting the error is something I've had a bit of trouble with; I found a really fat squirrel, it was just huge, like 20 pounds or better, and I trained it to install Avast, but sadly, it balked at what I wanted it to do before it would get the chance to get to the terminal for a few minutes and complete the fix uninterrupted. :/

@Kaze: fuck yeah, dude! Shelley's popcorn makes a hella sweet maple syrup microwave popcorn, it forms this brittle syrup shell as it cooks and it is seriously, literally better than sex. If you have one of those old school popcorn poppers you can make your own, too, it's as simple as adding some
maple syrup to the popcorn right before you pop it.

Thank you all for your accolades, but sadly, it appears that Curse has decided to push back the transition until Feb. 3rd. This saddens me, as I really thought Curse would finally dispel those rumors that they were wishy-washy, ignorant dullards who left everything in the hands of untrained volunteers on a power trip, but sadly, it looks like they're yet again going to cave to user demand despite my pleas. Truly, it has been a harsh learning experience for me, as I had such faith in them, but it looks like I have a bit of growing up to do.
On the plus side, at least, they've made the amended date the day after Groundhog's Day, which if that isn't poetic justice I don't know what it is.
by Pendulum
Wed Jan 15, 2014 7:26 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Isn't it hilarious? Far as I can figure, the data dumps from the main site over to the beta are getting done in one of two ways: either the main site is set up to data-dump every once in a while automatically, or they're making Ned from the Geek Squad do it on his lunch breaks; either way, that information is basically just getting copypasta'd over without anybody caring about its permissions level, and the admins or that guy named mouser or molester or whatever is retrograding the changes to their 'correct' permissions. Doesn't seem like an efficient way to do it and a whole lot of hidden stuff is getting spewed to the open (where Google is using those beautiful webcrawlers to catch it faster than us humans can, even if we do get lucky enough to see the mistake), but hey, what do I know?

A personal plea from Pendulum
Dear Curse,
I know you're getting a lot of flak for transitioning in
the middle of spoiler season. Admittedly, it probably wasn't a great idea to bring down the hammer right now ['cuz let's face it, best-case scenario everyone ports over during the spoilers and crash the smaller server], but I, for one, realize that if you always hesitated based on user/staff feedback, the transition just wouldn't ever happen. Please, please don't listen to the naysayers; they should be written off as nothing more than scumbags, desiring internet anarchy, and standing in the way of progress. Transition on time, like you said you would... it is imperative you save face here, above all else. Considering the site's long history of lying to its userbase, this is something that becomes evermore important: you need to break from the cycle, and the only way to do that is with the strong-arm tactics we've come to respect from you.

Now, I know you're thinking that I might be disingenuous here, that maybe, just
maybe, I know something you don't, and that I might have an ulterior, malicious motive for urging you so strongly to transition, but rest assured this is not the case. Sure, sure, previous to writing this, I admit I did make a song playlist I titled "The Death Card" which is just a 10-hour remix of the sing-song phrase "na na na na, na na na na, hey-hey-hey, goodbye" over and over again, even gave it a cute little Ace of Spades icon, but rest assured I did this for a reason other than sitting in front of my computer on Jan. 21st and watching the world burn. And yes, I also just put in an order to onlinepopcornorders.com for some of that delicious maple syrup popcorn they make, but that's just because I really like the stuff. Is that a crime?

So in closing, I'm totes serious, please don't delay the transition, again totes-mah-goats serious, you've clearly thought all this through and I trust you. What could possibly go wrong?

Totes-mah-goats-with-
boats serious and not laughing at you in any way,
Pendulum
by Pendulum
Wed Jan 15, 2014 7:35 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Uh oh.
The Countdown has Begun

If things go halfway as decently as I expect them to, it's going to be one hell of a Day Zero, people. Stock up on your popcorn now.
by Pendulum
Sat Jan 11, 2014 2:54 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Ahh, this is a classic.
Last night, in response to Togaras' complaints [above], Pops wrote:
What details can you give me about this? Page you're getting it on, source of the ad, etc. Even posting a screen shot would be nice.
...although 'wrote' isn't quite right, considering that earlier that day he made a placeholder statement that he'd check into the issue after work (btw, kudos for, you know, actually doing what you said you'd do this time, Pops! :cake: ).

I think we've all had to deal with scenarios like the following, which is a direct interpretation of a convo I had a few weeks ago:

Company Tech Support: Hello, my name is the Bob, could you be telling me what your problem is on this day?
Me: Hi! Looks like someone knocked over a dongle, my internet is lagging. Pings to Google are taking, like, 500, even 800 milliseconds to respond. You wanna
reset the connection for 237-123?
CTS: Alright sir, I can be helping there. First we need to be making sure that your router is on. Do you know how to do this?
Me: ...uh, yeah. I've also reset the router 6 times since we've been talking. Pretty sure it's on your end.
CTS: A, very goodness, sir! Next we should be checking that your router settings are in completion. Let us be resetting the router. First I need you to be finding the place where the router is being stored.
Me: [slight pause calculated to the tenth decimal in length showing my distaste for the direction of the conversation]
Me: *sigh*
Now, let's be clear here: I've heard the first familiar grumblings that some people don't really respect what I'm doing here, and while I'm fine with not being viewed as a paragon of virtue, it does upset me that my detractors aren't learning anything through my words... what I'm teaching here is pretty basic stuff. Customer
service isn't really a difficult thing for most people to grasp, yet it apparently continues to elude Pops (and 99% of the staff) for some reason despite my walls of text on the subject. If, for instance, someone posts two posts chock full of information about their problem, a mod steps in and deletes the most important parts, follows that up with some mod text, and then another mod steps in and asks if they can provide more information because it's not formatted in a way they can easily understand, well... yeah, I'm gonna lulz at that.
What was it Sene said? "Volunteers trying to make the site run smoothly for the users" or something?

@Togaras: while I suspect that this is never going to reach your screen, and wouldn't blame you one bit for ragequitting over this crap, your problem is a known XSS exploit that's been plaguing the site for most of a year now. Firefox, sadly, doesn't have the patch for this built in, so first you
should try Shift+Control+A to see if your add-ons have been fucked with, and while you're there turn on ad-block; if that doesn't work uninstall then reinstall your browser and that'll clear up the problem as long as you don't go back to Sally.
by Pendulum
Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:43 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

:magicmage:
by Pendulum
Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:42 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Ooh, goody! It appears that we have gone from a 'quantity of lulz' to a 'quality of lulz' time in dear Sally's lolhub tech support forum. I know it's been a little too slow lately, but these two posts more than make up for it.

[from the general complaints thread]

Image

This one had me laughing for a good five minutes, like, can't-breath laughing. In case you haven't noticed already, there's a 'silent mod' edit to this post, wherein good ol' Feyd removed a 'malicious' link.

This is going to get a bit complicated, but if you can follow the joke, it's well worth it.
First, the version of VBulletin that dear Sally is currently on is a powerful piece of software; there's a good reason VB is the most common forum software on the planet despite having to (theoretically) pay
for it: it has a lot of options, especially from the Admin Control Panel. One of the most important of these many options is a simple one, called the "block linking" option; what this option does is exactly what it sounds like: you copypasta a link into the convenient text line and thereafter any link to that address will simply not link... it won't be blue, it won't give you a click icon when you hover over it, it will just turn into simple text. Instead of doing that (which is easier than editing a post), Feyd has, in classic iridium fashion, put the brunt of the problem on the user with the problem.

Second, and much lulzier, you have to understand what exactly happens when you post a link that has an embedded XSS script. A cross-site attack isn't some magical ability hackers have to take over innocuous-sounding websites. Here's an example of what an XSS IS:

[url=http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/
showgroups.php]Young? Gay? Click here to find a partner TONIGHT![/url]
[Link SFW, although maybe not SFSanity]

In the event of an XSS attack, the hacker isn't trying to get you to click the link to some hub of internet villainy, there's trying to get you to click; the website they're leading you too could be Google, or Fiveguys.com, or Candy Crush, or what have you... the only reason they care where you end up is that they hope you'll be too distracted to notice that grinding noise your router is making while it's downloading the virus they've embedded in the link, not the site.*
Now, guess what VBulletin automatically removes. That's right, it removes any scripting in links. There is simply no way that link could have been malicious... and he's removed the link so that people can't see that for themselves.

So yes, Feyd is victim to all the usual failings of being Feyd here: putting the blame on the user, being too
much of idiot to realize that he's doing pointless busywork, and trying to look like he's a valuable member of the staff when all real evidence points directly to the contrary; but on top of that, he also seems to have abso-fuckin-lutely no idea how to protect his website and kind of flailing at whatever is in front of him.
Someone promote that man. :thumbsup:

Image

As if that weren't enough, here comes the mod text! I find a certain irony in the fact that he's getting the red for censor evasion when, just one post ago, Feyd seemed all too happy to creep in and remove the 'malicious content' without saying anything. How dare a user be upset at the myriad bugs and exploits that Curse sites are victim too, amirite?

To be honest, I smell a rat. Sure, Feyd is a self-serving hypocrite,
but this just smacks of a level of stupidity that even he can't naturally have. I would suspect that he left those traps for me, as a way for me to bump my own thread, and maybe save a few readers from reading the infinitely lulzier posts Magic Mage has been spewing out of her ass lately. Won't work, my man... apparently unlike Sally's technical support staff, I know how to link.

Click here to view funny Magic Mage threads!
by Pendulum
Sun Jan 05, 2014 3:44 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Also, in 5 days it will be the one month anniversary of when Pops "took over" the Candy Crush problem. We should have a party to celebrate.
There will be cake /Glad0s
by Pendulum
Sun Jan 05, 2014 3:38 pm
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

Well, it's crazy "more appropriate as a plotline for the first few seasons of the X-Files than internet forum policy" season again, and for those of you who don't have experience yes that's really a thing. I provide for you the following evidence:
Since the new year began, there have been 3 new threads in Technical Support:
- Where and how do I edit my signature? by the user Revolutionary (post count 117), and who wants us to know that, ahem, "illegal is not a noun."
- How do I change my status? by Sakashima, who wants to change his custom title to "the imposter".. also, who incidentally has made a whole whopping 1 (visible) post since he got that golden title
- and finally, How do I post in forums, by beebles, post count 141.
All three of these, of course, are snapped up by admins, techies, and globs, easily drowning out the actual questions themselves in their dogpile to get those
questions answered and appear at all relevant to the responsibility they're supposed to be wielding.

In retrospect, it saddens me more that the poor staff has felt the need to rise to their own bait and build this network of gimmicks to make it look like they know what they're doing than this... simply pathetic, transparent bid for user satisfaction. I mean, you're telling me the great and powerful Benjamin Timothy Gomes hasn't been squirreling away well-aged gimmicks this whole time? Why not use one of those instead of this limp pool of obvious gimmicks to make it look like you've been wisely using your time instead of fucking around, waiting for that master beta? Give me a challenge, guys.
The truth is out there.
by Pendulum
Sat Dec 28, 2013 8:36 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

quality post, Pendy.

Also, I notice pops has been online, though not posting in public areas of the forum.
Perhaps he's raising some cain, trying to get this egregious problem fixed. ;)
Also, love your suggestion in the Candy Crush thread.

Not much to work with lately, unfortunately; I assume everyone is holding their breath since this beta is totes happening any day now.

Embed videos
Yesterday, at 8:52 am, MagicMage Jim Mick 9909 asked:
Can videos (e.g., YouTube) be embedded? If so, how would that be done? (Could this be added to an FAQ or something, because I have
been searching for an answer to this for the past few minutes without an answer.)

Thanks.


Edit:
Video%20ID

Worked it out.
You're an idiot.

Sene responds a few hours later, but in a perfect world such an ineffectively post as
I'd write a FAQ for forum stuff, but as we're about to move over to a different forum software, it seems better to write one when we've moved over and know what things are actually going to look like going forward...
would be reported, deleted, and you'd get infracted; just the statement
google.com
would have had much more impact on the thread... too bad we all know that would have been, you know, reported, deleted, and the poster would get infracted.
by Pendulum
Wed Dec 25, 2013 9:16 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: MTGSalvation's fuckdiculous Tech. Support
Replies: 223
Views: 201151

TL;DR: You're good to go, transition already! :thumbsup:

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