Brilliant work, Khaos, but why do I have to die?
At least you did exist in the first place
I'll try to answer these both in a lengthy way.
I started with a random thought today thinking about what I'm going to play at SCG Orlando - I've been terribly wishy-washy on whether or not I want to play a Mutavault deck or a Nykthos deck, Chandra versus Purphoros, and Shock main over Mizzium Mortars main. I've
been driving myself crazy, so then I began to ask myself why was I stressing so much? It's cuz I want to win. I want to win so badly because I want show the world what I'm made of. I want to make the FoS proud. And most of all, I want to prove that I'm a damn good Magic player when I have a Red Deck in my hands. All of this led to my next thought: SCG Atlanta. I'm really excited that I actually get to meet some Clanbros in March. Like, fuck yeah, right? But I want to perform really well in the tournament. Like, what if I just came off as "all talk and no action" when it came to competitive play? What if I just bomb out?
I guess we'll just have to find out. It's just Magic, right? It's not the end of the world.
Anyways, I dismissed all of this as stupid insecurities and pre-tournament jitters. I started thinking crazy shit about what kinds of trouble I'm going to dig up in Atlanta with everyone. Theoretically speaking, anything can happen. I could be slamming shots with redthirst one
minute, the next I'm getting my ass kicked in a bar fight by a burly man named Sea Bass. I could end up in jail.
Fuck, SCG Atlanta could be fucking epic!
Anyways, I imagined this worse case scenario about me ending up in some lotion pit and redthirst would probably have to come packing heat to bail me out.
Don't ask me how I ended up there my head.
What's important is that I started there and asked," if X happens then will Y happen?" Soon I was in an apocalyptic world where everyone had changed into characters involving a plot and possibly three acts.
This was fun. At least it was while I was tearing apart pallets in my cooler.
I started imagining weird scenarios for everybody in the Clan, which lead to me attempting to include more people.
Guys, let me tell you something. There are a lot of people in this Clan. Can any of you remember everybody off the top of your head? I can'
t.
Some people had natural roles. Like Suga is creepy, right? I mean we love him, but he's got that pedophile attitude with a YOLO swagger. I sincerely could imagine him as a Fagin-type character from Oliver Twist that was involved in all sorts of shady business and commanded a low-level army of thugs. I could totally imagine Z literally being M. Bison that took power in the most cunning way (a la Emperor Palpatine).
The more roles I filled (good, bad, neutral, rogue, hero, mentor, etc.), the more of a story I had. Plus, I was able to find personality types to match each character. Like, for example, Photo plays the "mentor" role - he is basically that guy in Legend of Zelda that says, "Don't go alone! Take this with you!" and then hands Link a fucking sword. Or Obi-Wan Kenobi giving Luke his Lightsaber. And ultimately, the mentor is supposed to die to drive the hero further in his quest.
Photo dies in the story.
It's not just Val. Hell, Johnny Spike is the first to die.
But to explain, a lot of people are going to die. I could actually expand these "bios" out and add more. There will be a body count. Khaos is supposed to die, for example.
People dying help move the plot along. It gives people motivation to do things. With Val dying, it (A) reinforces the idea that Alex is a fucking awesome assassin (like Deadpool!), (B) delivers the Celtic Blade to Z, (C) and then gives Z a reason to send a bruiser (or mini-boss) to fuck with the heroes.
This could be epic. Like Game of Thrones type epic shit.
However, I only spent a few hours on this. I can find ways to introduce more characters. Fuck, with enough time, this could be a goddamn opera or fucking jazz odyssey.
I was actually kind of bummed that I didn't find a role for Doc Lawless. Or yarpus. Or Red Nihilist. Or Sasky.
Hell, I even forgot to add certain "personality types" to some characters. Like Stabber. I imagined him as a weird mix of Barleyman Butterbur from
Lord of the Rings and the dude from Pulp Fiction that captured Bruce Willis and Marcellus Wallace. Y'know that creep? "Spider's caught himself a couple of flies." Plus, I can totally see Stabber running a joint full of lady-boys and I would get drunk enough to go there and do dumb stuff.
But off the top of my head, here are some ideas:
Yarpus - he'd be a drunk Polish guy in freedom's resistance army. Like, hes drunk and making dirty jokes on the way to the battle, but then disappears while the action goes on. Suddenly, but only when the bad guy is defeated. he shows up armed to the teeth and ready for war. And then everyone laughs and says, "Silly yarpus!"
Doc Lawless - Also caught in a lotion pit. He's in an adjacent pit before Khaos even arrives, sold to Helios from the mischievous Suga. He's the guy that Khaos talks to about, "if we ever make it out of this pit alive, then I'm gonna go buy a shrimp boat and you gonna be my first mate!" He's like a white
Bubba. Unfortunately, Helios rips his skin off and the Doc dies.
Sasky - One of the first people to openly speak out against Z. Once Z buys Diestoremoval.com and begins his propaganda campaign, Sasky is the first to declare that "only a Sith deals in absolutes!" Z sends Alex to "silence him" once his Watchdogs track his exact location. Sasky's death is what shakes Johnny Spike back to reality and spurns him to go warn windstrider.
Red Nihilist - Another one of ham's creations. He is a cyborg that has no fear. In fact, he feels nothing at all: no pain, no sadness, no joy. Nothing. His mission is only to destroy with fire. Armed with a cybernetic flamethrower attached to his shoulder, Red Nihilist is sent to the front lines by Lord Kincey to destroy Freedom's Freedom Fighters. Within minutes of engagement, Red Nihilist wipes out a tenth (the true meaning of decimation) of the Freedom Fighter's numbers. When Nuwen is able to hack into Red Nihilis'st sub-command routines from the
sidelines, she disables him and he meets his end by the Freedom Fighters.
*whew *
That was fucking lengthy.
