Dies to Removal

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:34 am**

at baltimore there was some guy brazenly flirting the with salesgirl at the booth who was as flat average as is possible but "has lots of piercings and blue hair" while i was trying to buy sleeves and a deck box and i lost my patience with the both of them and also her when she tried to sell me a dice bag when i asked her for dice that they weren't selling.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:35 am**

i was wearing a suit at the time because i was at the convention center to pick up the press materials for the conference and there is no self-respecting man that exists who wears a suit and uses a dice bag.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:35 am**

i just use a percocet pill bottle.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:38 am**

Mix them together that way you can flip a Xanax for coin tosses

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:40 am**

There's a legitimately attractive girl at an lgs i go to but she is 98% there because of bf, 1% there to play mtg and 1% there to sell her alters
does she work at SCG events? there was a very attractive woman doing alters at SCG baltimore.

actually, the dude doing alters there was definitely above average in a crowd of mostly sleestacks!

I don't think she goes on any circuits, even east coast, but if the girl at scg had platinum blonde pixie hair and is very attractively skinny, then maybe

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:40 am**

Mix them together that way you can flip a Xanax for coin tosses

because clearly your percocet bottle is for xanax

ltr me

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:41 am**

i would say most women i see at magic tournaments look like Krang's body suit from TMNT, while most guys that play magic look like Krang.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:42 am**

Mix them together that way you can flip a Xanax for coin tosses

some guy at a draft two weeks ago told me not to leave "those" out on the table because someone would steal them as i poured my dice out to roll for who played first.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:43 am**

i want someone to steal my dice expecting to get high

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:43 am**

someone tell me what gender the blonde person is. is it a guy with dyed blonde hair or a girl with a beard?

only average because their in a sea of men with bigger titties then them. including me. im atleast a d cup.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:43 am**

i'm a winner and winners don't use drugs.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:43 am**

someone tell me what gender the blonde person is. is it a guy with dyed blonde hair or a girl with a beard?

only average because their in a sea of men with bigger titties then them. including me. im atleast a d cup.

call me

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:44 am**

i want someone to steal my dice expecting to get high

or get pulled over and arrested because cops are crazy to minorities

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:45 am**

someone tell me what gender the blonde person is. is it a guy with dyed blonde hair or a girl with a beard?

only average because their in a sea of men with bigger titties then them. including me. im atleast a d cup.
call me

only
if you show me your feet

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:47 am**

my migraine miracle pills are individually wrapped in what looks like a condom wrapper, and i leave them haphazardly in every pocket of my bookbag because i am lazy, so sometimes when i'm at fnm some of them come out with my deck box and stuff and i am assuming everyone thinks i am some sort of nympho pedo trying to hint to the underage fat boys

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:48 am**

i want someone to steal my dice expecting to get high

or get pulled over and arrested because cops are crazy to minorities

i keep my not illegal drugs because i don't do illegal drugs in a zendikar fat pack box that i usually carry with actual magic cards.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:49 am**

one time i was not on illegal drugs because i don't do illegal drugs and did a u-turn in front of a checkpoint and then was pulled over and after not being able to tell the officer what town my friend lived in, he asked me to step out of the car, asked me if my friend had a weapon on him (he was a 400 lb black kid) and i just laughed at him and told him no, so he let me go.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:50 am**

i avoided that street on the ride home.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:50 am**

my migraine miracle pills are individually wrapped in what looks like a condom wrapper, and i leave them haphazardly in every pocket of my bookbag because i am lazy, so sometimes when i'm at fnm some of them come out with my deck box and stuff and i am assuming everyone thinks i am some sort of nympho pedo trying to hint to the underage fat boys

have you read Diary?

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:50 am**

my friend keeps his not illegal drugs in one of those nice faux leather deck boxes, the green one with the forest in fact but the asshole also keeps decks in it when it's not empty so his decks smell like not illegal drugs sometimes

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:52 am**

one time i slid down a driveway on my back while wearing a motorcycle jacket while running from what we thought was the cops but really it was my friend's dad with one of those head lamps on not taking kindly to several minors and myself drinking beer in his back yard.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:52 am**

I'm sincerely glad that I read the last 3 pages.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:53 am**

my friend keeps his not illegal drugs in one of those nice faux leather deck boxes, the green one with the forest in fact but the asshole also keeps decks in it when it's not empty so his decks smell like not illegal drugs sometimes

i did that when i was not selling illegal drugs because i don't sell illegal drugs, except it was not in a normal plastic green mana deck box. putting your cards in where your not illegal drugs are seems like negative EV because your cards stink and people will probably be more likely to call you on something at some point somewhere.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:56 am**

this thread got funnier with stories of not illegal drugs

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:07 am**

he is not at his most cognizant at fnm because he is always on not illegal drugs at fnm

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:08 am**

in fact he recently got second place in a ptq whilst on not illegal drugs because he was playing affinity in modern and that ship needs no captain

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:15 am**

half the time i would not need those migraine pills at fnm if my friend would give the not illegal drugs a rest, because the smell of a specific not illegal drug can mess a migraine prone head up something horrible

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:17 am**

Am I the only one who has an unnatural fear of the cat jumping into the hot oven when you open it?

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:25 am**

Am I the only one who has an unnatural fear of the cat jumping into the hot oven when you open it?

what about a dog? my puppy is kinda greedy and dumb

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:26 am**

Any of you jersey niglets going to the SCG event in SOMERSET?

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:30 am**

The smell of not-illegal drugs is something I'm not a fan of.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:55 am**

Am I the only one who has an unnatural fear of the cat jumping into the hot oven when you open it?

what about a dog? my puppy is kinda greedy and dumb

Yeah but there isn't a saying about how curiosity killed the puppy

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 1:57 am**

I'm always right with Jesus when play at my LGS. I'm fine with it though because it lures my opponents into a false sense of security.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:05 am**

Originally posted by ExpiredRascals on MTGS
I've not the faintest clue as to what you might be referring. :armscross:
[x] sarcasm
[x] spam
[x] trolling (because let's face is, what *isn't* considered trolling over there?)

I'd report him, but that would be considered abuse of the report function.

but he's joking around with a friend, so its ok

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:08 am**

I want a fat girl to sit on my face.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:08 am**

He doesn't have friends, don't lie

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:12 am**

Only the lonely...

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:18 am**

I want a fat girl to sit on my face.

not too fat though

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:24 am**

I'm talking Manders size.

Posted: **Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:29 am**

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Dies to Removal

Lather Up and Blather On, Vol. 3