HumorFunny thread for Madding

lol

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Funny thread for Madding

Post #1 by ( G_R ) » Tue Sep 09, 2014 4:22 am

Your mom is fat.

Mcdonalds » Thu Jun 25, 2015 11:20 pm wrote:That explains why people keep coming over for chicken nuggets

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Post #2 by Alex » Tue Sep 09, 2014 4:30 am

#shotsfired

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Post #3 by Kaitscralt » Tue Sep 09, 2014 4:41 am

GR change your shitty avatar everyone thinks that is really you and it makes us part of the neckbeard nomenclature
Lord_Mcdonalds » Yesterday, 3:13 pm wrote: Standard hobos who play budget garbage should be looked upon with suspicion.

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Post #4 by ( G_R ) » Tue Sep 09, 2014 5:41 am

Who you calling a whitey?

I'm already in the process of finding another one. ^_^

Mcdonalds » Thu Jun 25, 2015 11:20 pm wrote:That explains why people keep coming over for chicken nuggets

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Post #5 by Mogadishu Jones » Tue Sep 09, 2014 5:48 pm

Yeah i hate your avatar.

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Post #6 by ( G_R ) » Tue Sep 09, 2014 6:14 pm

OK then.

Mcdonalds » Thu Jun 25, 2015 11:20 pm wrote:That explains why people keep coming over for chicken nuggets

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Post #7 by ( G_R ) » Tue Sep 09, 2014 6:15 pm

Oh wait, I had one in line already! BRB

Mcdonalds » Thu Jun 25, 2015 11:20 pm wrote:That explains why people keep coming over for chicken nuggets

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Post #8 by Blackhound » Tue Sep 09, 2014 6:19 pm

Friends, I cannot state more clearly the following sobering fact: Beastly power brokers like Maddings Mom belong in prison where they can be kept away from the general public. Here's my side of the story: Maddings Mom recently began reducing meaningful political discussions to “my team versus your team” identity-based politics. Once again, he has made a mockery of his pledge not to be so grotty. It's too bad that Maddings Mom lacks the decency to admit that we are at a crossroads. One road leads into the light of a bright, shining future in which quisquilious con artists like Maddings Mom are totally absent. The other road leads into the darkness of scapegoatism. The question, therefore, is: Who's driving the bus? The answer is too well-known to bear repeating, but I should comment that if I had my druthers, Maddings Mom would never have had the opportunity to shout obscenities at passers-by. As it stands, if we foreground
the cognitive and emotional palette of Maddings Mom's cantankerous, sniveling ballyhoos rather than their pathology we can enter vitally into his world. Why do we want to do that? Because Maddings Mom is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between Maddings Mom and a pigeon is that Maddings Mom intends to cater to the basest instincts of benighted pillocks. That's why Maddings Mom claims to be supportive of my plan to force him into early retirement. Don't trust him, though; he's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Before you know it, he'll create a one-world government, stripped of nationalistic and regional boundaries, that is obedient to his agenda. Not only that, but the term “idiot savant” comes to mind when thinking of Maddings Mom. Admittedly, that term applies only halfway to him, which is why I aver that it wasn't so long ago that people like you and me were free
to deal summarily with prodigal, daffy New Age brownshirts. Recently, that's become a lot harder to do. What happened that changed things so much? To put it briefly, Maddings Mom happened. By blackmailing politicians into creating a regime of diversivolent, haughty absolutism, Maddings Mom has managed to empty garbage pails full of the vilest slanders and defamations on the clean garments of honorable people.

By refusing to act, by refusing to review the basic issues at the root of the debate, we are giving Maddings Mom the power to produce culturally degenerate films and tapes. In that respect, we can say that he justifies his malignant harangues with fallacious logical arguments based on argumentum ad baculum. In case you're unfamiliar with the term, it means that if we don't accept Maddings Mom's claim that the ancient Egyptians used psychic powers to build the pyramids then he will convert lush forests into arid deserts. While everybody believes in something, Maddings Mom's simple faith in
boosterism will impose a “glass ceiling” that limits our opportunities for promotions in most jobs. I have the strength, ability, desire, and courage to rake Maddings Mom over the coals for destroying the natural beauty of our parks and forests. Do you?

There'll always be some pestilential grammaticaster who's eager to complain about my use of English in this letter. He'll probably tell me that it's grammatically incorrect to use the word “domineering” when writing, “Maddings Mom is a domineering energumen.” Well, the fact is that Maddings Mom is a domineering energumen, and his prevarications represent a backward step of hundreds of years, a backward step into a chasm with no bottom save the endless darkness of death. He claims that his faith in tammanyism gives him an uncanny ability to detect astral energy and cosmic vibrations. Whether that's true or not, his evidence is corrupted by a vast amount of nonsense and outright fraud. Before we can further discuss Maddings Mom's claim we must
acknowledge that many people lie. However, Maddings Mom lies with such ease it's troubling.

What I want to document now is that some day, in the far, far future, Maddings Mom will realize that his warped historical perspective makes for a consistent if slimy view of aspheterism. This realization will sink in slowly but surely and will be accompanied by a comprehension of how Maddings Mom's faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree. He either is or elects to be ignorant of scientific principles and methods. Maddings Mom even intentionally misuses scientific terminology to glorify warped dumbbells. More concretely, he is terrified that there might be an absolute reality outside himself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of his wishes, theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees. One can examine this from another angle and plainly see that just because Maddings Mom and his cronies don't like being labelled as “witless
wisenheimers” or “money-grubbing fomenters of revolution” doesn't mean the shoe doesn't fit. He divides the organization of his prissy ruses into two halves that, apparently separate from one another, in truth, form an inseparable whole. The first half seeks to relabel millions of people as “mendacious”, while the second half is yet another juvenile, acrimonious blend of bilious revanchism and abysmal terrorism.

The two things I just mentioned—the way that Maddings Mom sees life as a shabby, gin-swilling game without any rules and the fact that my observations are perhaps unique—may sound like they're completely unrelated, but they're not. The common link is that when a friend wants to drive inebriated, you try to stop him. Well, Maddings Mom is drunk with power, which is why we must tell him where he can stick it. He is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, he has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people he desires to lead.

People
sometimes ask me why I seem incapable of saying anything nice about Maddings Mom. I'd like to—really, I would. The problem is, I can't think of anything nice to say. I guess that's not surprising when you consider that not only does Maddings Mom commit all sorts of mortal sins—not to mention an uncountable number of venial ones—but he then commands his spin doctors, “Go, and do thou likewise.”

Maddings Mom insists that corporatism is a beautiful entelechy that makes us whole. Although I've already discussed the abject fallaciousness of that argument, the fact remains that he is an opportunist. That is, he is an ideological chameleon without any real morality, without a soul. In an article I read recently, he is quoted as saying that he wants to repeat the mistakes of the past. This was meant be taken as a joke, but the joke is on us. You see, if you think you can escape from Maddings Mom's picayunish hatchet jobs, then good-bye and good luck. To the rest of you I suggest that he's good at one thing,
and that's keeping his ulterior motives secret. Only a few initiates in the inner sanctum of Maddings Mom's retinue know that he's planning to twist the teaching of history to suit his disagreeable purposes. Even fewer of these initiates know that Maddings Mom maintains a “Big Brother” dossier of incriminating information about everyone he distrusts to use as a potential weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? Although I haven't yet been able to concoct an acceptable answer to that question, I can suggest a tentative hypothesis. My hypothesis is that patronizing survivalists are somehow fascinated by Maddings Mom's unsophisticated diablerie, just as a dove is sometimes charmed by a glittering serpent. Unfortunately for such people, Maddings Mom makes it sound like we're supposed to shut up and smile when he says untoward, abusive things. That's the rankest sort of pretense I've ever heard. The reality is that idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Maddings Mom spends his leisure time
devising ever more rancorous ways to interfere with a person's work performance, bodily security, physical movement, and privacy rights.

If Maddings Mom would abandon his name-calling and false dichotomies it would be much easier for me to raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding Maddings Mom's psychotic homilies. Inasmuch as I disagree with his accusations and find his ad hominem attacks offensive, I am happy to meet his speech with more speech and, if necessary, continue this discussion until the truth shines. Not that I ever believed Maddings Mom's lies, but at least before they had some kind of internal consistency—a logic, albeit twisted, that invited refutation. But now, it seems he is desperately flailing about for any pretext, no matter how ludicrous or slight, to install a puppet government that pledges allegiance to his militant claque.

Groupthink and mob behavior are common within Maddings Mom's coven. Hence, it isn't unusual for one who commits heresy against Maddings Mom's
established dogma to be exiled from the community. The sad part is that these outcasts still refuse to believe that if Maddings Mom can't cite the basis for his claim that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented annunciations then he should just shut up about it. His worshippers argue that the key to living a long and happy life is to trample into the mud all that is fine and noble and beautiful. These are the same illaudable draffsacks who make individuals indifferent to the survival of their families. This is no coincidence; Maddings Mom wants to scupper my initiative to change the direction in which our society is headed. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is Maddings Mom's gossamer grasp of reality.

With laudable scholarship and meticulous research, a highly regarded professor at a nearby university determined that I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for Maddings Mom's subterfuge. I'm absolutely
stunned. Everybody loves a good game of hide-and-seek: find the person, find the hidden item, or, in Maddings Mom's case, find the hidden agenda. You may detect disapproval and anger in my writing when I state that Maddings Mom enjoys pondering new ways to give lunatics control of the asylum. That disapproval and anger exists primarily because when Maddings Mom's nugatory utterances are translated into plain, words-mean-things English, he appears to be saying that his modes of thought enhance performance standards, productivity, and competitiveness. For me, this moralistic moonshine serves only to emphasize how I believe in “live and let live”. Maddings Mom, in contrast, demands not only tolerance and acceptance of his musings but endorsement of them. It's because of such hectoring demands that I claim that I and Maddings Mom part company when it comes to the issue of stoicism. He feels that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape while I believe
that I fully intend to resolve our disputes without violence. When people ask me, “What can I do to help?”, I always suggest that they criticize Maddings Mom's complicity in the widespread establishment of nepotism. Such actions are moral in the true sense of the word. Furthermore, they help people see that Maddings Mom's utterances are based on a technique I'm sure you've heard of. It's called “lying”. The take-away message of this letter is that only by taking off the kid gloves and venting some real anger at Maddings Mom can we know real stability, real courage, real faith, and real truth and feel wedded to our shared reality. We should hold these words to our bosom, use them as a shield against Maddings Mom's inequities, and wield them unilaterally against those who would cause an increase in disease, exhibitionism, crime, and vice.

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Post #9 by ( G_R ) » Tue Sep 09, 2014 6:22 pm

( G_R ) » Tue Sep 09, 2014 11:15 am wrote:Oh wait, I had one in line already! BRB

Everyone knows I easily give in to peer pressure :yes:

Mcdonalds » Thu Jun 25, 2015 11:20 pm wrote:That explains why people keep coming over for chicken nuggets

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Post #10 by Second Harkius » Tue Sep 09, 2014 9:36 pm

Damn, I was going to make a 'pull madding out of his depression' thread.

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Post #11 by Alex » Tue Sep 09, 2014 10:08 pm

But that's what the meds are for.

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Post #12 by ( G_R ) » Tue Sep 09, 2014 11:08 pm

The meds seem to work. His delusions of a new job disappeared.

Mcdonalds » Thu Jun 25, 2015 11:20 pm wrote:That explains why people keep coming over for chicken nuggets

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Post #13 by Second Harkius » Wed Sep 10, 2014 12:08 am

His meds and MTGO are what keeps him going.

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Post #14 by Kaitscralt » Wed Sep 10, 2014 2:31 am

Madding's mom has got it going on
Lord_Mcdonalds » Yesterday, 3:13 pm wrote: Standard hobos who play budget garbage should be looked upon with suspicion.

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Post #15 by Second Harkius » Wed Sep 10, 2014 11:53 pm

Image


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