[Fedoras of Salvation] - White Knights ITT

hamfactorial · Postby **hamfactorial** » Thu May 23, 2013 12:52 am

The only acceptable response to a question from your girlfriend is a slow unzipping of your jeans.

zemanjaski · Postby **zemanjaski** » Thu May 23, 2013 1:07 am

Yeah...the less they know about this the better I would imagine.

zemanjaski · Postby **zemanjaski** » Thu May 23, 2013 1:09 am

Mind you, I describe logging on to MODO as 'going to work'. Got to get in the right state of mind you see.

zemanjaski · Postby **zemanjaski** » Thu May 23, 2013 1:09 am

The only acceptable response to a question from your girlfriend is a slow unzipping of your jeans.

Hmmm...maybe I do need to put a label on it then, right now I have to answer questions

TubeHunter · Postby **TubeHunter** » Thu May 23, 2013 1:18 am

Dodger · Postby **Dodger** » Thu May 23, 2013 1:57 am

I just tell all the women I go out with that I'm usually just checking out my fantasy team for whatever is in season.

Khaospawn · Postby **Khaospawn** » Thu May 23, 2013 2:13 am

Also, it's a lot harder than you might imagine to try and explain to your girlfriend that you're laughing because the online Magic club you're a member of wrote a movie trailer about how big your cock is.

That caused a lot more questions than it answered...

Tell me about it. The woman dragged me to K-Mart so I walked around like a zombie staring at my phone, bored as fuck. I reread the movie trailer for like, the tenth time, and I uncontrollable burst out laughing at the part where Ham says,"Looks like he's already here." It's funny cuz I can really imagine him saying that, like in the middle of some weird California earthquake.

Anyway, the convo went like this:

Me: Bwahahahahahahahaha

-->

Kat:What is so funny?

Me: Nothing. Well, it's just that Tubehunter made a mock trailer about redthirst's dick.

Kat: WHAT!?

Me: Yeah, it's funny right? redthirst has this monster cock and-

Kat: Have you seen it!?

Me: No. Well, I mean, I'm sure he'll show you if you want to see it.

Kat: What the fuck kind of group is this?

Me:

Then she walks away from me to browse through some more clothes. I begin to reminisce about Scary Movie quotes....

hamfactorial · Postby **hamfactorial** » Thu May 23, 2013 2:14 am

Tell her that her tits are too big!

Khaospawn · Postby **Khaospawn** » Thu May 23, 2013 2:16 am

The only acceptable response to a question from your girlfriend is a slow unzipping of your jeans.

Why does it have to stop at girlfriend? I think from now on, I'm going to answer EVERY question like this.

zemanjaski · Postby **zemanjaski** » Thu May 23, 2013 2:59 am

http://www.theage.com.au/entertainment/ ... 2k29o.html

facepalm.gif

lorddax · Postby **lorddax** » Thu May 23, 2013 3:02 am

The only acceptable response to a question from your girlfriend is a slow unzipping of your jeans.
Why does it have to stop at girlfriend? I think from now on, I'm going to answer EVERY question like this.

Sir do you know why I pulled you over?

Kazekirimaru · Postby **Kazekirimaru** » Thu May 23, 2013 3:31 am

The only acceptable response to a question from your girlfriend is a slow unzipping of your jeans.
Why does it have to stop at girlfriend? I think from now on, I'm going to answer EVERY question like this.
Sir do you know why I pulled you over?

-unzip-

Link · Postby **Link** » Thu May 23, 2013 4:09 am

3-0'd a draft tonight thanks to MJ's teachings.

Jund aggro

First pick Spike Jester
2nd Pick Gruul War Chant
3rd Pick Flesh and Blood
Rot Farm Skeleton did work with flesh and blood. Flesh and blooding an Zhur-taa swine onto an axebane stag for 11 damage? Yes plz.

Got Grisly salvage, thrill-kill, bunch of blood rush, GHC walker. Even picked up wildwood rebirth for more value out of rot farm and salvage (also bloodrush cards).

Mana was iffy but I had 3 gates and a golgari cluestone. This way I ran like 7 mountains for double red costs.

Gruul War chant and spike jester did FREAKIN WORK in this format.

Dickin around for 4 turns?

hit you for 9.

Play a dude? WAR CHANT SON Now he can't block hit you for 4.

backed up with annihiliating fires, homing lightnings, and a mugging (well he could've been, but I picked a Swine over it. Whoops?)

But yeah War Chant is the nuts. Definitely going to be hitting
up this archetype some more if its being overlooked (I don't think bloodrush as a whole is very popular for the full set draft).

zemanjaski · Postby **zemanjaski** » Thu May 23, 2013 4:11 am

Some of MJ's draft decks are just fucking ridiculous. Nice work Fate!

Link · Postby **Link** » Thu May 23, 2013 4:12 am

the deck where he won off midnight recovery and scion engines is my favorite so far (at least to watch. In terms of deck his R/b riot piker auto-pilot dec was obviously the most kickass)

zemanjaski · Postby **zemanjaski** » Thu May 23, 2013 4:16 am

Did you see the UB Contol deck? That was a masterpiece.

Link · Postby **Link** » Thu May 23, 2013 4:20 am

The triple/quadra gatekeeper one? Didn't actually find the video of him piloting it, just the draft

zemanjaski · Postby **zemanjaski** » Thu May 23, 2013 4:23 am

Yeah, quad gatekeeper with 6 gates. Disgusting.

hamfactorial · Postby **hamfactorial** » Thu May 23, 2013 4:26 am

The only acceptable response to a question from your girlfriend is a slow unzipping of your jeans.
Why does it have to stop at girlfriend? I think from now on, I'm going to answer EVERY question like this.
Sir do you know why I pulled
you over?
-unzip-

... go on

Kazekirimaru · Postby **Kazekirimaru** » Thu May 23, 2013 4:27 am

The only acceptable response to a question from your girlfriend is a slow unzipping of your jeans.[/
quote]
Why does it have to stop at girlfriend? I think from now on, I'm going to answer EVERY question like this.
Sir do you know why I pulled you over?
-unzip-
... go on
-Takes over Russia-

Dodger · Postby **Dodger** » Thu May 23, 2013 4:51 am

For some reason I'm watching The Human Centipede wtf is wrong with me.

zemanjaski · Postby **zemanjaski** » Thu May 23, 2013 4:52 am

Yeah, dude, that isn't ok.

TubeHunter · Postby **TubeHunter** » Thu May 23, 2013 5:04 am

no dodger, stahp it.

Kazekirimaru · Postby **Kazekirimaru** » Thu May 23, 2013 5:08 am

For some reason I'm watching The Human Centipede wtf is wrong with me.

All of my no.

Kazekirimaru · Postby **Kazekirimaru** » Thu May 23, 2013 5:22 am

Alright, redbros. I'm in need of some advice. After this, I promise I'll post something M:tg related and semi-productive soon.

So, for the last four months or so, there's been this girl who has lived with my wife and I. Friend of a friend of my wife type deal. She was homeless and had no place to go(no family who liked her - in hindsight, that should have been a huge red flag) so I decided to take her in. She promised she'd be an awesome housemate and would get a job, clean, pay rent, et cetera. Well, long story short, she's an alcoholic drug addict and doesn't even have the capacity to put pants on in the afternoon let alone hold a job. I have no clue where she gets the money for all her weed and booze, but she often leaves with strange men, so I think I can piece together that puzzle. Oh, and she has a two-year-old daughter that she has no custody of. I've given her several chances for redemption and she constantly
lets me down. I despise her yet pity her greatly as she obviously has been through a lot of shit in her life, and I think the latter is what has kept me from throwing her out until now. But now, I'm married. I want my house to be my own again. I want to have a home environment that's safe to bring my kin into if I chose to have children anytime soon. I want to look in the fridge and have it actually have food in it for once, dammit. Not to mention I'm getting spread real thin trying to support a human who does absolutely nothing. I can't take this anymore. But, if I throw her out, she'll be on the streets. I don't know if I can do that. My wife is passive as ever, of course, and has left dealing with her all up to me.

What do you guys think I should do? Throw her out? How would I even go about that?

And before any of you sardonic asshats asks: no, she isn't hot.

hamfactorial · Postby **hamfactorial** » Thu May 23, 2013 5:26 am

It's pretty easy, Kaze, but you can't be afraid of confrontation. Ask her to leave, give her a timeline. If she didn't leave by your agreed upon date, call the sheriff and tell them that she's trespassing on private property. They will remove her or arrest her if she still refuses to get out.

I'm not a lawyer of course, but squatters are easily removed.

zemanjaski · Postby **zemanjaski** » Thu May 23, 2013 5:36 am

^As above. Act fast. Be deliberate and firm; plan what you're going to say beforehand ~ write notes or a script if you need to. How you handle your wife in this situation is up to you ~ if she truly is passive, you probably don't need to do anymore than let her know you're going to act.

Christen · Postby **Christen** » Thu May 23, 2013 5:44 am

MAJOR LEGENDS/PLANESWALKERS RULE CHANGE

It takes effect on July and I'm not happy with this change. Why fix something that is not broken?

hamfactorial · Postby **hamfactorial** » Thu May 23, 2013 5:57 am

That's an interesting rule change. Completely unnecessary, but interesting.

Are they planning to include tons of legendary creatures in Theros, perhaps?

zemanjaski · Postby **zemanjaski** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:00 am

I don't like the changes to legendary/PWs at all; but I do like the sideboard changes.

Lightning_Dolt · Postby **Lightning_Dolt** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:01 am

MAJOR LEGENDS/PLANESWALKERS RULE CHANGE

It takes effect on July and I'm not happy with this change. Why fix something that is not broken?

Rules change is horse shit. It makes zero sense. Current rules make sense, new rules do not.

If they were determined to change the rules for some reason, the new legend destroying the old legend would have made the most sense.

Legends are no longer unique beings.

Christen · Postby **Christen** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:03 am

Sideboard changes are interesting I have to agree, although I don't think people would often do >60 decks on game 2 and 3.

windstrider · Postby **windstrider** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:03 am

@kaze — Set a deadline for her and let her know. Are there any women's shelters in your area? If there are, then contact them and make arrangements for her to move in there. Let them know about her drug use and that she needs treatment options.

Christen · Postby **Christen** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:06 am

That's an interesting rule change. Completely unnecessary, but interesting.

Are they planning to include tons of legendary creatures in Theros, perhaps?

Most likely, since Theros block touches on Greek/Roman mythology after all.

Kazekirimaru · Postby **Kazekirimaru** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:13 am

Many of the shelters around here have waiting lists. There's only one woman's shelter around here. I'll call tomorrow to see if there are any openings.

Hate the new legend/pw rule. Don't mind the new sb rules.

windstrider · Postby **windstrider** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:15 am

Urgh. That is a horrible new rule for legends and Planeswalkers. It also makes no freaking sense.

@kaze — Unfortunately, I thought as much. Contact a local church. They may have resources as well.

Kazekirimaru · Postby **Kazekirimaru** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:16 am

I shall do that. My old church has a rescue mission, I believe.

windstrider · Postby **windstrider** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:28 am

Yeah. A lot of churches have access to quite a few resources. Is the little girl living with her? If absolutely necessary, then you can also get your state's department of child services involved. That's the nuclear option.

As for where she's getting her money for drugs, probably prostitution of some kind. You absolutely do not want that around you or your wife. Talk to the cops.

Kazekirimaru · Postby **Kazekirimaru** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:34 am

No, the kid doesn't live with her. She's not a fit enough parent to have any sort of visitation.

I just don't know if I want to get authorities involved. I know I won't get walk away from this without a lamp thrown at me or some screaming at least, but I want to keep drama to a minimum.

Kazekirimaru · Postby **Kazekirimaru** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:36 am

Looks like I spoke too soon about my wife being passive. I mentioned the issue to her and my planned course of action and she's getting all little miss second chances on me. Should have seen this coming.

I'd love to give this girl another chance, but I've given her so many already. I know she just won't change.

Dies to Removal

[Fedoras of Salvation] - White Knights ITT

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