Dies to Removal

I told him to just play Bellows Lizard then.

The more assclowns out there stuffing their decks with shitty cards the better.

I liked your analogy with Goblin Guide.

Really, you've got to ask yourself: how much more power is 100% more power anyway?

I had the idea to brew a mostly-permanents list with Chandra to get better value out of her 0 to increase devotion with Fanatic of Mogis. I don't think the card pool is there in Standard, but my brewer's cap is on for Modern, and I think a deck with Seal of Fire, Figure of Destiny, Ash Zealot, Blood Moon, Reckoner/Boggart Ram-Gang/Ashenmoor Gouger, Hammer into Chandra, Koth and Fanatic seems like the tits.

I sure do like tits.

I feel infinite sorrow for our gay redbros who will never know the true happiness tits bring.

The RDW thread on Sally is now nestled amongst the stupidest things I have ever had the displeasure of reading.

I personally respect how powerful Satyr is, but I don't like it from a viewpoint of my preferred playstyle.

I tend to run the weird instead, for extra devotion, and because of its utility in such a variety of matchups.


Redthirst, I find myself liking you more and more every day.

The RDW thread on Sally is now nestled amongst the stupidest things I have ever had the displeasure of reading.

Right up there with the begining of last season's 1000+ "Vexing Devil is the best 1-drop ever printed! How are you not running 4?" posts.

Redthirst, I find myself liking you more and more every day.

Yeah, me too.

dear god alex do NOT play festering newt in an aggro shell over tormented hero I DONT CARE HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO BLOCK WITH YOUR 1 DROPS THEY ARE FOR BEATING FACE

It isn't there to block, it's there to turn sideways and go unblocked. There are a LOT of decks running X/1s. Firefist Striker is probably the most played card in the format. So nobody is going to want to trade with the thing because it's very hard for them to do so profitably. I'd rather play a card that's a 2-for-1 a majority of the time than a 2/1 that's basically vanilla 99% of the time.

I might also try Hellhole Flailer over Tymaret, but I included him for a reason. Anything that's black seems good in the format since Doom Blade is the only real removal. I have seen people
playing Stab Wound, so I'm weary of not having a sac outlet so that I don't just randomly lose to that slow bleed.

Anyone not reading the Corruption Reports in the Watchdog sub needs to do themselves a favor and start doing so.

Seriously: Rix Maadi guildmage is a better source of the effect you're praising, and playing guildmage ALSO lets you play cards with better stats than newt. Consider the options; what if you could threaten y-for-mana on every swing, not just a nuanced 2-1 on your 1 drop?

And like I said, because your plan is to go sideways 2 power is 100% upgrade (REDTHIRST-APPROVED PHRASE) on 1 power with a sometimes-relevant removal effect. The deck is often in situations where you force through damage by having x+1 or x+2 cards in play to your opponent's field - some of the suicide squad dies, but some get through. Having a 1/1 get through while your squad suicides is so not worth the swing-out.

Consider also that an extra 1/2/3 on your clock interval can mean the difference between burning someone out and losing.

If you are having issues with a dense field of decks playing x/1s, you sure as hell want SHOCK or flames of the
firebrand over any cute creature tech. The newt slot would be boarded out for better interaction anyway - you see all the drawbacks and never any of the benefits in "relevant" matches, because there are better cards to play out of your board.

I'm not saying festering newt is a bad card. The fact that it's GOOD against us already says it's got game - just not in our shell, because we're not trying to grind marginal advantages in any matchup. We're trying to kill them before our weaker-budgeted cards fold. Playing even WEAKER kill-you cards than my baseline just seems like bad news bears.

I Nuwen so much.


In a platonic kinda way so that Fate doesn't go all GRUUL RAGEHAMMER! on me, but still.

Platonic means with your genitals, right?

Because, if so, I love you all platonically.

redthirst's power is such that he can redefine words with his very presence. All Glory to Him!

<3

I can't wait for Alex to make some nerds CRY. The legal card list isn't prepared to deal with Exava, any 1 drop into Jester hand, and pretty much all of the higher-class tech we fold to is banned.

I forsee a lot of red mirrors getting OWNED by postboard suite of 4 Stike / 4 Jet / 4 Doom blade / 4 Shock, ditto white herpaweenie that can't play Spear, Ajani, or any of the standard lynchpins that make the deck decent.

Your hardest matchup might actually be a B/W combo deck with weenies & access to dark betrayal, renounce the guilds, blind obedience, high priest, immortal servitude - that's why I originally recommended dark betrayal in your own board. It really depends on what sings in the hearts of store-goers I guess, but that archetype is the only one I would feel threatened by.

redthirst's power is such that he can redefine words with his very presence. All Glory to Him!

Kind of like the Sally thread where Roy G Biv redefined "most" to mean 11.73%.

RT - who do you think it was that sent Stardust his first fanmail? He's been making me lose my shit laughing since day 1.

Seriously: Rix Maadi guildmage is a better source of the effect you're praising, and playing guildmage ALSO lets you play cards with better stats than newt. Consider the options; what if you could threaten y-for-mana on every swing, not just a nuanced 2-1 on your 1 drop?

And like I said, because your plan is to go sideways 2 power is 100% upgrade (REDTHIRST-APPROVED PHRASE) on 1 power with a sometimes-relevant removal effect. The deck is often in situations where you force through damage by having x+1 or x+2 cards in play to your opponent's field - some of the suicide squad dies, but some get through. Having a 1/1 get through while your squad suicides is so not worth the swing-out.

Consider also that an extra 1/2/3 on your clock interval can mean the difference
between burning someone out and losing.

If you are having issues with a dense field of decks playing x/1s, you sure as hell want SHOCK or flames of the firebrand over any cute creature tech. The newt slot would be boarded out for better interaction anyway - you see all the drawbacks and never any of the benefits in "relevant" matches, because there are better cards to play out of your board.

The problem is, I'm not horribly comfortable playing more red spells. The mana is already pretty awful. I don't even really like playing Spike Jester, which is why I'm not sold on Rix Maadi Guildmage. I need to actually sleeve it up and goldfish some hands to see just how awful the mana really is, but I can see a lot of ways that jamming more gold cards in isn't necessarily the right way to go.

RT - who do you think it was that sent Stardust his first fanmail? He's been making me lose my shit laughing since day 1.

I have no idea - it's seriously the only part of the site besides the Clan areas I normally visit anymore, though.

Yeah I noticed that you don't ever frequent our awesome standard areas.

Edit - I was the fanboy in question.

I did not think it was possible for that Sally thread to degenerate into even worse nonsense. Clearly, my faith in humanity is still too high.

Edit: ring, ring.

I did not think it was possible for that Sally thread to degenerate into even worse nonsense. Clearly, my faith in humanity is still too high.

This type of inflammatory tone is not allowed here. Infraction issued. -Gal

I did not think it was possible for that Sally thread to degenerate into even worse nonsense. Clearly, my faith in humanity is still too high.

Edit: ring, ring.

How it was possible for all of us to meet there is beyond me. Seriously, I think I only go back to read on Sally is when you guys report more foolishness. Like now.

I'm going in. Cover me, Porkins....

I love how that thread keeps attracting more and more people to it. It should be renamed RDTW: Red Deck Train Wreck.

I did not think it was possible for that Sally thread to degenerate into even worse nonsense. Clearly, my faith in humanity is still too high.

This type of inflammatory tone is not allowed here. Infraction issued. -Gal

I know. Thinking too highly of the average person on Sally certainly is inflammatory.
I stand by my signature.

Seems like we damn near got a full-blown Assemble the Legion situation brewing over there...

Seems like we damn near got a full-blown Assemble the Legion situation brewing over there...

We obtained several muster counters in our upkeep!

People is dumb...

I forsee a lot of red mirrors getting OWNED by postboard suite of 4 Stike / 4 Jet / 4 Doom blade / 4 Shock, ditto white herpaweenie that can't play Spear, Ajani, or any of the standard lynchpins that make the deck decent.

I can tell you through my experience that red aggro matchups with my RB deck running said removal suite postboard is hilariously easy.

white herpaweenie

Teacher mode activate.

Teacher mode activate.

*Intro to Am I Evil? begins to play*

I also like the intro to "Mars, Bringer of War" from the Planets suite.

I also like the intro to "Mars, Bringer of War" from the Planets suite.

Orgasmatron by Motorhead?



I am the one, Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand
My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
Two thousand years of misery of torture in my name
Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore

I twist the truth, I rule the world, my crown is called deceit
I am the Emperor of Lies, you grovel at my feet
I rob you and I slaughter you, your downfall is my gain
And still you play the sycophant and revel in my pain
And all my promises
are lies, all my love is hate
I am the politician and I decide your fate

I march before a martyred world, an army for the fight
I speak of great heroic days, of victory and might
I hold a banner drenched in blood, I urge you to be brave
I lead you to your destiny, I lead you to your grave
Your bones will build my palace, your eyes will stud my crown
For I am Mars, the God of War and I will cut you down

I also like the intro to "Mars, Bringer of War" from the Planets suite.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bfjj7Y9N27 ... fjj7Y9N27c

Oooh, I like that too. But, no. The one I'm thinking of is from the composer Gustav Holst.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0bcRCCg01I

I'm also partial to Five Finger Death Punch's "Lift Me Up" featuring Rob Halford

It ain't no mystery
I'm all I have left
I'm pushing back and running you over

I've been thrown down run around
Beaten 'til I hit the ground
Telling you right now that it's over

There's no room for mistakes
All the cards are in place
Say what you will but say it to my face

Better back the fuck up
Better shut the fuck up
I'll do what I want and I'll never give up

I won't be broken
I won't be tortured
I won't be beaten down
I have the answer
I take the pressure
I turn it all around

Lift me up above this
The flames and the ashes
Lift me up and help me to fly away
nLift me up above this
The broken the empty
Lift me up and help me to fly away
Lift me up

I'm gonna change history
Enlighten the world
Teach them how to see through my eyes

I'm gonna lash back check that
Fatal as a heart attack
Stomp out all the ugliest lies

You can't convince me to change
We ain't on the same page
I've had my fill now there's nothing but rage

Best get out of my way
'Cause there's nothing to say
Is that all that you got?
Because I ain't got all day

I won't be broken
I won't be tortured
I won't be beaten down
I have the answer
I take the pressure
I turn it all around

Lift me up above this
The flames and the ashes
Lift me up and help me to fly away
Lift me up above this
The broken the empty
Lift me up and help me to fly away
Lift me up

I won't be broken
I won't be tortured
I won't be beaten down
I have the answer
I take the pressure
I turn it all around

Lift me up above this
The flames and the ashes
Lift me up and help me to
fly away
Lift me up above this
The broken the empty
Lift me up and help me to fly away

Not music related, but I've been laughing my ass off at this for over a week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTIPQdlLKTA

And here's the original video they were spoofing. Equally as hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiCFUUtwfK0

Holst Metal

Oooh, I like that too. But, no. The one I'm thinking of is from the composer Gustav Holst.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0bcRCCg01I

Badass. Reminds me of the Predator theme music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XpJdwxvsO0

Holst Metal

Helios