Dies to Removal

My approach:

1. Build a terrible list of my favorite cards

2. Make 50 revisions to it until it's slightly above average

3. Go X-2

fixed.

My approach:

1. Build a terrible list of my favorite cards

2. Make 50 revisions to it until it's slightly above average

3. Go X-2

fixed.

Yeah but I look so good doing it, nobody notices.

I would consider myself an old fuck with a receding hairline and I netdeck all the time. I'm not good at brewing. I have way more fun playing someone else's well thought out brew because I'm not as good at spotting synergies between cards.

At 33 and married I'm also starting to consider myself an old fuck.

But I have perfect hair.

Straight up Uncle Jessie levels of perfect.

Im 24, with perfect hair.

Sup you Danny Tanner lookin' ass mu'fuckas.

Straight up Uncle Jessie levels of perfect.

Half the people in this thread won't understand that reference, you old fuck.

kinda the way it should be, huh? Get old, make horribly outdated pop culture references.

I watch old Full House reruns late night after I fuck.

My approach to building decks.

1. Check whether Young Pyromancer is format legal.

2. If not, move formats until it is.

3. Begin the herculean task of coupling YP with instants and Sorceries. While the synergy is small, I suspect that I may be onto something.

Burn just aint the same without you bro...

Zem built a pauper edh deck with Young Pizzle as the general.

I watch old Full House reruns late night after I fuck.

The only late night sitcom you should be watching is Seinfeld.

The girl doesn't really like Seinfeld, and Full House puts her to sleep so I can switch to Family Guy.

Straight up Uncle Jessie levels of perfect.

Half the people in this thread won't understand that reference, you old fuck.

Have mercy!

I watch old Full House reruns late night after I fuck.

Don't lie, you finish yourself off thinking about the Olsen twins.

I've decided on what to play at States, after my experience tonight at FNM. I played RW Burn, still not enjoying the deck, and got raped by Abzan Reanimator. A girl that I've went on a couple dates with decided to play in her first ever FNM, and for whatever reason she decided to borrow this other guys spare deck from him. After I get buttblasted in round 1, I went over to see how she was doing. I look in her hand, and see 2 Feed the Clan, and some basics, with fucking Spirit of Spring in play, or whatever that stupid blue 0/3 is that fetches for a land is called. After she loses in 2 to Siege Rhino dot deck, similarly to me, I go sit down back where my stuff is, and start working on a deck from my spares. I remember that she likes the color red, in general, and also enjoyed playing one of my RW decks last Standard when I taught her to play. 37 commons and uncommons later, with a couple random rares, and I'm done. No sleeves necessary.

5 minutes later, I walk back up to her, and ask to thumb through the deck she's playing. It has fucking Banner's in it, and a bunch of other random bad shit, with a couple Fetches and other cards that are valuable, yet useless without an actual deck to be in. I look her in the eyes, and shake my head, and then go on to explain that the deck is shit. Hopefully the decks creator was in ear-range of what I said. Anyways, I hand her the deck that I just finished, and tell her that nothing would make me happier than to see her play this deck next round. I once again explain how crappy the RUG deck she borrowed is. Nevermind the fact that it has a bunch of useless synergies and shit that a new player wouldn't give 2 fucks about, or even 1 fuck for that matter.

She takes it, and I tell her to get 21 mountains out of the land box behind the counter. A couple riffle shuffles later and it's time for round pairings. Her opponent is sitting diagonally from where all my shit is, giving me a front row seat to watch, as she plays against none other than one of the stores best players, and former head judge. He's playing Jeskai Ascendancy combo. I ignore my own game for the most part after I realize my opponent is only pointing burn spells at my face, except the bad burn spells, such as Bolt of Keranos and lol, Spark Jolt.

I instruct her to just attack each turn, and play her hand out as efficiently as possible. She wins the die roll, and off we go. She opens mountain into Monastery Swiftspear. Judge plays a painland into an elf. She untaps, plays a mountain into a Valley Dasher, and gets in. Judge plays a Caryatid and a tapland, passes. She plays a mountain, Thunderous Might onto the Valley Dasher, and attacks, no blocks, [card]Titan's Strength[/card] on Swiftspear. Judge does some more irrelevant shit, still trying to set up all the combo pieces. She sets down an Archetype of Aggression, and the judge scoops.

There's something so fulfilling in watching a new player just utterly shit on a Judge playing a netdeck with a pile of unsleeved red cards. She takes the match in 3, and ends up losing the next round in a close 3 games, and then has to leave to give a friend a birthday present or something, idk. I talk to her some more, and she's pretty happy about how she did, and when she's leaving, she mentions that her car is parked behind the nearby restaurant since there were no other parking spots were available. I offer to walk her to her car.

A couple kisses later, I'm back inside with a grin on my face, and I've been reminded of the joy of Magic, and playing Mono-Red.



I went X-2, but I still got the girl. I'm going to play Boss Sligh tomorrow at Game Day, and then I'm going to give her the deck to use at FNM the next time she decides to play. Goals for the weekend include taking 1st place at atleast one of these GameDay's, and going on a 5th date with her, or however many there have been so far.

Also, after our first kiss, she mentioned that she was a bad kisser.

I said, "Well, I guess we'll just have practice more".

TL:DR
"I went X-2"
"practice more"

You mean to tell me this isn't my personal blog? Trying to tell yall bout the future Mrs. Scroatles here.

Went X-2.
Got laid.

You make FoS proud Jasper.

Went X-2.
Got laid.

You make FoS proud Jasper.

Truly an inspiration to the rest of us.

It is even worse when they fail the combo because they don't realize that they can decline to loot and just draw their deck. Nearly as bad as watching a new Eggs or High Tide player.

That was boring as hell. At least I took down Game Day to make today a little more interesting.

True to my promise, I have skipped game day and am playing project m with a few friends.

I've decided on what to play at States, after my experience tonight at FNM. I played RW Burn, still not enjoying the deck, and got raped by Abzan Reanimator. A girl that I've went on a couple dates with decided to play in her first ever FNM, and for whatever reason she decided to borrow this other guys spare deck from him. After I get buttblasted in round 1, I went over to see how she was doing. I look in her hand, and see 2 Feed the Clan, and some basics, with fucking Spirit of Spring in play, or whatever that stupid blue 0/3 is that fetches for a land is called. After she loses in 2 to Siege Rhino dot deck, similarly to me, I go sit down back where my stuff is, and start working on a deck from my spares. I remember that she likes the color red, in general, and also enjoyed playing one of my RW decks last Standard when I taught her to play. 37 commons and uncommons later, with a couple random rares, and I'm done. No sleeves necessary.

5 minutes later, I walk back up to her, and ask to thumb through the deck she's playing. It has fucking Banner's in it, and a bunch of other random bad shit, with a couple Fetches and other cards that are valuable, yet useless without an actual deck to be in. I look her in the eyes, and shake my head, and then go on to explain that the deck is shit. Hopefully the decks creator was in ear-range of what I said. Anyways, I hand her the deck that I just finished, and tell her that nothing would make me happier than to see her play this deck next round. I once again explain how crappy the RUG deck she borrowed is. Nevermind the fact that it has a bunch of useless synergies and shit that a new player wouldn't give 2 fucks about, or even 1 fuck for that matter.

She takes it, and I tell her to get 21 mountains out of the land box behind the counter. A couple riffle shuffles later and it's time for round pairings. Her opponent is sitting diagonally from where all my shit is, giving me a front row seat to watch, as she plays against none other than one of the stores best players, and former head judge. He's playing Jeskai Ascendancy combo. I ignore my own game for the most part after I realize my opponent is only pointing burn spells at my face, except the bad burn spells, such as Bolt of Keranos and lol, Spark Jolt.

I instruct her to just attack each turn, and play her hand out as efficiently as possible. She wins the die roll, and off we go. She opens mountain into Monastery Swiftspear. Judge plays a painland into an elf. She untaps, plays a mountain into a Valley Dasher, and gets in. Judge plays a Caryatid and a tapland, passes. She plays a mountain, Thunderous Might onto the Valley Dasher, and attacks, no blocks, [card]Titan's Strength[/card] on Swiftspear. Judge does some more irrelevant shit, still trying to set up all the combo pieces. She sets down an Archetype of Aggression, and the judge scoops.

There's something so fulfilling in watching a new player just utterly shit on a Judge playing a netdeck with a pile of unsleeved red cards. She takes the match in 3, and ends up losing the next round in a close 3 games, and then has to leave to give a friend a birthday present or something, idk. I talk to her some more, and she's pretty happy about how she did, and when she's leaving, she mentions that her car is parked behind the nearby restaurant since there were no other parking spots were available. I offer to walk her to her car.

A couple kisses later, I'm back inside with a grin on my face, and I've been reminded of the joy of Magic, and playing Mono-Red.



I went X-2, but I still got the girl. I'm going to play Boss Sligh tomorrow at Game Day, and then I'm going to give her the deck to use at FNM the next time she decides to play. Goals for the weekend include taking 1st place at atleast one of these GameDay's, and going on a 5th date with her, or however many there have been so far.

I'm done

2nd at Game Day with UB control. It does feel a bit underpowered but it's so much fun; Jorubai Murklurker is a boss.

Took first at my game day beating Abzan Midrange using my Temur Aggro deck. Ashcloud Phoenix is boss. Going to try and get a second mat tomorrow.

It's actually fairly tempting for me to just take Ross's states deck to the GP, but Jeskai burn, too strong.

I'm tempted to do the same. Speaking of that deck, anyone have access to SCG Premium who can send me the text from his article yesterday? The Brad Nelson one would be nice as well.

Yeah, I'm starting to think about going premium as well, I feel like I want to read Ari Lax's article on Abzan.

Ask, and ye shall receive.

Next time just keep it to pm's guys, thanks.

I was totally going to mod that too.

latest version of boss sligh is a beast. today i went 2-0 in 4 consecutive matches (u/b control, jeskai ascendancy, mono black aggro, abzan midrange) never winning the die roll so always starting on the draw. maybe was just luck but... i don't think so.

and men how i dislike the elvish mystic/caryatid/courser decks .... i tried playing that shell and i always seem to have all the mana accelerators or none, doing nothing as a result.

2nd place at Gameday with Boss Sligh. Game 3 of the finals I kept a 1 lander with 2 Dragon Mantle's and a Titan's strength. Scryed a non-land to the bottom before my draw step. Drew 9 cards before I hit my second land. Oh well.

Probably can't play it again tomorrow, because everyone will just main board Anger of the Gods and Drown in Sorrow. Lame.

2nd at Game Day with UB control. It does feel a bit underpowered but it's so much fun; Jorubai Murklurker is a boss.

Everytime my teammate plays that thing, everyone near the table is screaming JORUUUBAII

I am a powerful magician.

WD.

2nd at Game Day with UB control. It does feel a bit underpowered but it's so much fun; Jorubai Murklurker is a boss.

Everytime my teammate plays that thing, everyone near the table is screaming JORUUUBAII

It plays better than it looks on paper. Even gaining 3-5 life and trading for a card is enough to stabilize against even the most aggressive decks.

Played this. Dunno how appealing or even how good it is; if you enjoy playing for small edges then trying to convert that into a win it might be a good deck for you. It's pretty underpowered; mostly it wins because it drags games out and you have opportunities to outplay people. I did strive a Silence for 10.

[deck]UB Control[/deck]
Creatures
2 Prognostic Sphinx

Sorceries
4 Despise
2 Drown in Sorrow
2 Thoughtseize

Instants
3 Bile Blight
4 Dig Through Time
4 Disdainful Stroke
4 Dissolve
4 Hero's Downfall
3 Jace's Ingenuity
2 Silence the Believers

Lands
2 Bloodstained Mire
4 Dismal Backwater
1 Flooded Strand
5 Island
4 Polluted Delta
5 Swamp
4 Temple of Deceit
1 Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth

Sideboard
3 Ashiok, Nightmare Weaver
1 Bile Blight
2 Drown in Sorrow
3 Jorubai Murklurker
3 Negate
1 Silence the Believers
2 Thoughtseize
[/deck]

WD.

Thanks!

I had to start with a round 1 match loss because I was playing in the Top 4 of the first game day, but Jeskai is huge in my meta and Mardu basically can't lose.

I got 3rd in game day since there was nothing I could do when green devotion gets their nut hands and draws.

I'm starting to feel really comfortable with Abzan aggro though. I'm doing much better against the midrange versions than I thought I would.

Played this. Dunno how appealing or even how good it is; if you enjoy playing for small edges then trying to convert that into a win it might be a good deck for you. It's pretty underpowered; mostly it wins because it drags games out and you have opportunities to outplay people. I did strive a Silence for 10.

[deck]UB Control[/deck]
Creatures
2 Prognostic Sphinx

Sorceries
4 Despise
2 Drown in Sorrow
2 Thoughtseize

Instants
3 Bile Blight
4 Dig Through Time
4 Disdainful Stroke
4 Dissolve
4 Hero's Downfall
3 Jace's Ingenuity
2 Silence the Believers

Lands
2 Bloodstained Mire
4 Dismal Backwater
1 Flooded Strand
5 Island
4 Polluted Delta
5 Swamp
4 Temple of Deceit
1 Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth

Sideboard
3 Ashiok, Nightmare Weaver
1 Bile Blight
2 Drown in Sorrow
3 Jorubai Murklurker
3 Negate
1 Silence the Believers
2 Thoughtseize
[/deck]

I've been contemplating on trying out UB Control. What's your thoughts on trying out some number of Perilous Vault in the main/side?

I hated vault in testing. So much.

I just didn't like the way it affected sequencing.