Dies to Removal

INB4 "why didn't you use the open window to get in the house?"

That, plus iron bars, to keep intruders out...

Or locked-out owners, for that matter.

RE: Modern technology

VPN just rocks!

Wait, what forum is this?

Haha I live in an apartment no such luck

Oh wait there is a plug in one of these armories near the elevator, nvm

Haha I live in an apartment no such luck

Mine is an apartment too (the one I'm selling) but it has a window towards the hallway.

I even started to run out of battery that time, so I used an open window to plug into an outlet inside the house.

but not slip in through said open window?

INB4 "why didn't you use the open window to get in the house?"

Badman can you slip yourself through this? I don't mean your dick.

And now I just remotely launched a large scale computation to my remote server back at the Uni.

The ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything, I assume.

i was on the other page when i posted. SO FUCK YOU I WAS BORN LARGE

I read an article once about a guy who had some weird inability to process calcium, and he was a fat-ass, so basically his lardness pulverized his bones down to tiny slivers and he could kind of ooze through extremely small openings like that window. Then he died.

I got into the most fascinating discussion last night with a very religious man who was using the story of the beggar's tithe (the one where the little old lady drops money into the donation box and Jesus says it's a better offering than all the robust offerings) to push the idea that small sacrifices are inherently better than large ones; basically that joy should be portioned out in small packets instead of one big grandiose gesture. Gotta say it hit me pretty hard, think I'll change my worldview.

Wait what forum is this?

I read an article once about a guy who had some weird inability to process calcium, and he was a fat-ass, so basically his lardness pulverized his bones down to tiny slivers and he could kind of ooze through extremely small openings like that window. Then he died.

I tried Googling this, then one thing led to another, and in summary for the love of god don't do an image search for Harlequin ichthyosis.

Your message contains too few characters.

Yeah, well fuck you, I just had surgery.

And now I just remotely launched a large scale computation to my remote server back at the Uni.

The ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything, I assume.

nah, just some quantum mechanics shit

A song Manders would like.

I'm not a fan of Country music, Jackass.

Your message contains too few characters.

Yeah, well fuck you, I just had surgery.

So, you're speechless

A song Manders would like.

I'm not a fan of Country music, Jackass.

Oh, I should probably explain.

Since you like to change your name every week, I've decided I'll just call you Jackass.

That way, everyone will always know who I'm talking about, regardless of what your name is atm.

And now I just remotely launched a large scale computation to my remote server back at the Uni.

The ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything, I assume.

nah, just some quantum mechanics shit

Well shit, why even bother using a computer then? Can't you do that in your head?

A song Manders would like.

I'm not a fan of Country music, Jackass.

Oh, I should probably explain.

Since you like to change your name every week, I've decided I'll just call you Jackass.

That way, everyone will always know who I'm talking about, regardless of what your name is atm.

That is fucking brilliant.

Your message contains too few characters.

Yeah, well fuck you, I just had surgery.

So, you're speechless

We need a *babump tish* smilie for these occasions

Your message contains too few characters.

Yeah, well fuck you, I just had surgery.

So, you're speechless

bah dum tish!

A song Manders would like.

I'm not a fan of Country music, Jackass.

Oh, I should probably explain.

Since you like to change your name every week, I've decided I'll just call you Jackass.

That way, everyone will always know who I'm talking about,
regardless of what your name is atm.

That is fucking brilliant.

Yes.

Yes, I am.

Thanks for noticing!

And now I just remotely launched a large scale computation to my remote server back at the Uni.

The ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything, I assume.

nah, just some quantum mechanics shit

Well shit, why even bother using a
computer then? Can't you do that in your head?

You generally cannot solve Schrödinger's equation analytically

Your message contains too few characters.

Yeah, well fuck you, I just had surgery.

So, you're speechless

We need a *babump tish* smilie for these occasions

And now I just remotely launched a large scale computation to my remote server back at the Uni.

The ultimate
question of life, the universe, and everything, I assume.

nah, just some quantum mechanics shit

Well shit, why even bother using a computer then? Can't you do that in your head?

You generally cannot solve Schrödinger's equation analytically

Says the guy who got locked out of his house.

For the average large dimensions of a door, the wavefunction collapses and you can just resort to classical mechanics, so I got stuck outside, otherwise I would have taken advantage of tunneling effects and shit.

Lol, for a moment I was picturing you building a portal gun out of elevator parts and your laptop.

Lol, for a moment I was picturing you building a portal gun out of elevator parts and your laptop.

I've always imagined him to be some small combination of Cave Johnson and someone who actually knows what he's doing. This was also meant as a compliment.

They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants - not here. At Aperture we do all our science from scratch; no hand holding

Alright this next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So word of advice: if you meet yourself on the testing track don't make eye contact. Lab boys tell me that'll wipe out time - entirely. Forward and backward. So do both of yourselves a favor and let that handsome devil go about his business.

You, [subject name here], must be the pride of [subject hometown here]!

This first test involves something the lab-boys call repulsion gel. You're not part of the control group by the way - you get the gel. Last poor son of a gun got blue paint, ha ha ha! All joking aside, that did happen. Broke every bone in his legs - tragic. But informative! Or so I'm told

We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: it's a lively one and it does not like the human skeleton.

The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group, they're telling me I ought to stop making these pre-recorded messages - that gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day!

The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.

I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come, because you murdered him.