Is that a chocobo in your avatar?
I like chocobos
NOW! That's What I Call General Site Blathering, Vol. 2
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Neo Metal Sonic
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I just shit post and get blocked on the twatters
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I stood on the sidelines for a time, judging that it would be best to stay far enough away to avoid getting hit by wayward dicks of would-be heroes. Ages ago, the soothsayer had given me a cryptic hint of my future: “If it can scar the sky with fire, do not share its destination.” So I stayed well back, content to watch and maybe laugh. I guess what I didn’t realise is that when a dragon attacks, there are no bystanders. A giant blaze erupted from the dragon’s lair, singing not only my eyebrows, but also two of my posts. Shit just got personal.
As I walked up to the entrance to the cave, little snippets of my mother’s voice came back to haunt me. "The dragon is a perfect marriage of power and the will to use it."... “Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dragons lie.”... "The dragon has no pretense of compassion, no false mask of civilization—just hunger, heat, and need."... But I pushed the thoughts from
my mind. The fear of dragons is as old and as powerful as the fear of death itself, but I knew in my heart of hearts that to slay a dragon, my resolve must be stronger than my steel. This was even truer given that all I had on my person was a length of rope, a pack of sugarfree gum and my iPhone which had run out of batteries about an hour earlier. Luckily (or perhaps not, depending on your stance), my rage carried me through the portal and into the lair of the dragon.
As I walked past the broken corpses of a lifetime of hopeful dragon-slayers, my rage began to slip, giving way to the more rational side of my brain. Rather than turn back I called down into the cave to bolster my own confidence. “Dragon! I am Stardust, known as the slayer of dragons and bedder of women! I am no knight or prince or mage, but dozens of your kin have been laid to rest by my sword. Dragonfire forged me a warrior – my flesh can withstand the flame, and the spirit of the dragon burns within my soul! Doom casts its own flickering
shadow, so prepare yourself for my coming, for this day is your last!” As I spewed out this nonsense and lies, I was hopeful that if the dragon felt terror, it would truly be my servant. All the shouting did wonders for my own confidence (stupidity?) at least, and I carried on.
I was a little concerned by the lack of response from below. Everything was silent except for the drip of water from the ceiling and the catchy rock tune that I’m sure was just nagging at the back of my mind. I had expected to just be burned to a crisp after shouting challenges like that, but maybe my confidence was actually working to bend the creature to my will. I’d been counting the number of dead knights as I continued, though the sheer number of them lying with their genitalia exposed caused me to lose count around 60 or 70. I imagined that some might call me gay for an admission like that, but really I was just wondering about the reason why they might have decided to drop their swords and wield their dick instead. Really.
That’s all I was thinking guys, seriously. Whatever, not like it’s going to matter since I’m not making it out of here alive anyway. I resolved that no matter what happened, no matter what mind games or threats this dragon used against me, I would never, ever drop my pants. It’s undignified.
It wasn’t too much longer until I reached the end of the tunnel. There were some loose rocks to one side, indicating that likely the stream that ran through here to carve out the cave in ages past had been blocked by a small collapse. I wondered briefly whether that collapse would have occurred naturally, or if the dragon might have caused it himself. Of course, at that point I remembered what I was doing and realised that the dragon was nowhere in sight. There hadn’t been any turn-offs or bends in the tunnel as far as I remembered. So where did that lizard go?
Suddenly there was movement to my right! I recoiled, expecting to die at any moment, but there was nothing there. Just a big boulder that had obviously
rolled away from the wall during the collapse all that time ago. Then I caught sight of a tiny yellow horn sticking out from behind the rock. That horn moved slightly to reveal a cat-like eye, which quickly disappeared as it realised I was looking at it. I frowned, confused, and walked over to investigate.
What I saw wasn’t so much an apocalypse in dragon form as a... chocobo in dragon form. Yeah, a chocobo. Cute, yellow, and definitely created by a Japanese cartoonist. It shied away from me as I came around the boulder.
“Hey there you little cutie! What are you doing down here?” I asked in as nice a voice as possible.
The deep, booming voice that responded shocked me. “I am the Dragon of Grondok. This is my home.”
“What!? I mean... what? Really? You’re the Dragon of Grondok? You killed all those people and blew that eruption of fire out of here?”
“Never doubt a dragon just because of its size,” it replied back in its booming voice. I felt like I was in one of those movies where some little
cute thing has a really deep voice. I mean, that’s exactly what this was. But I couldn’t remember the name of the movie...
“So what are you doing here?” the Dragon asked me, the booming voice shocking me once again out of my thoughts.
“Oh, yeah, ummm, I actually came here to...” I couldn’t very well say that I was there to kill him. “Hey, can I ask you a question? You killed all those people, right? Why?”
“That was three questions. Yes, yes, and because they were trying to kill me.” The Dragon took up a more casual pose, leaning up against the boulder as he replied. “Either that or they just got tired of waiting for a dragon to eat them. You see, a dragon's scale can be carved into a mighty shield, provided you can procure a dragontooth to cut it. So that’s it for some of them. Some just hate us and believe that it is best to conquer dragons before they hatch, killing as many of us as possible. I mean, while it's true most dragons are cruel, the rest only seek any opportunity to restore the broken
pride of their race.”
“So that’s it? Just kill you because you’re a dragon?”
“Well, I guess that’s not totally accurate. Some barbarians claim we’re cut from the same cloth, if you’ll forgive the expression. Blah blah, language of flame and rage, blah blah, language of fury and honor. Then they go off about some tale of destruction. It gets old, but that part I can handle. It isn’t until they try what the barbarians call ‘touching the soul of the dragon’... yeah, that’s when it’s gone too far.”
“You mean –“
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.” Suddenly it all made sense. “So that’s why all those guys up there have no pants on!”
“Yes, that’s exactly right. Oh, except one of them. He actually tried to kill me with his dick. He tried really really hard. Like, really hard. I felt bad for him, so I ran away and let him tell some of his friends that he’d killed me, but when he came back to do it again I was in a bad mood. So I killed him.”
“Oh. That sucks.” I couldn’t think of anything to say
for a minute, but I was afraid that if the conversation lulled for too long we might end up getting around to talking about eating me or something, so I asked, “What about spell casters and that sort of thing? Can’t they just mind control you or something?”
“Ah, perhaps, but as they say, ‘A dragon will not be ruled.’” said the dragon as if quoting a famous line (though I’d never heard it).
“That may be true, but what about mind tricks? ‘Even a dragon is humble as a kitten if it thinks itself a slave’,” I said, hoping I sounded official enough to make that sound like a real expression.
Without bothering to comment on my invented quote (which I felt was quite clever), the dragon simply said, “When you've got the temperament of a dragon, every argument is one you'll win,” then flashed a toothy grin and licked his lips.
I thought briefly about the implications of that statement, then went dumb. This dragon was going to eat me after all. It may look like a chocobo, but those teeth showed its true
nature. “Well, if you’re going to eat me anyway, why didn’t you just get it over with while I was coming down the cavern!?”
The dragon shrugged. “I didn’t hear you.”
I felt further deflated. Everything clever I’d done so far today was going completely unappreciated. “How is that even possible? I yelled so loud!”
“Did you? Sorry about that.” The dragon actually looked apologetic. “I had just let out that crazy explosion, and every time I do something that epic and destructive I get that song ‘Smoke on the Water’ stuck in my head. You know that song?”
I nodded, still mute. I’d been hearing that same song in my head ever since I stepped foot in the cave.
“Well, you know how to get rid of a song that’s stuck in your head?”
I shook my head, still mute.
“You sing it of course! So I probably didn’t hear you because I was busy singing. It really is a great song. I used to be in a band and we would play that song sometimes, but dragon fire melts any instrument, so I eventually got kicked out. I
still go to karaoke sometimes though.”
“A karaoke singing dragon. I never thought I’d see the day. Care to join me in singing a round?”
“That sounds fantastic! You’re much more fun than most of the people who come down here to kill me!”
With that we both started singing, the music echoing off the cavern walls.
We all came out to Montereax,
On the Lake Geneva shoreline.
To make records with a mobile,
We didn't have much time.
But Frank Zappa and the Mothers,
Were at the best place around,
But some stupid with a flare gun,
Burned the place to the ground.
Smoke on the water and fire in the sky.
Smoke on the water...
They burned down the gambling house,
It died with an awful sound.
(Uh) Funky Claude was running in and out,
Pulling kids out the ground.
When it all was over,
We had to find another place.
But Swiss time was running out,
It seemed that we would lose the race.
Smoke on the water and fire in the sky.
Smoke on the water...
We ended up at the
Grand Hotel.
It was empty cold and bare.
But with the Rolling truck Stones thing just outside,
Making our music there.
With a few red lights, a few old beds,
We made a place to sweat.
No matter what we get out of this,
I know I know we'll never forget.
Smoke on the water and fire in the sky.
Smoke on the water...
As we neared the end of the song, the dragon was getting pretty into it, busting out some sweet licks on his air guitar, he went down on two knees and threw his head back to really give the rock and roll effect. It was sweet. It was also exactly what I’d been waiting for. I took my length of rope, wrapped it tight around my hands, and choked the dragon from behind. He struggled, fire ricocheted off the walls in every direction, but I held tight until the dragon exploded. There was a shower of dragonscales, then nothing more.
When I finally regained consciousness I looked around the room. Mind tricks don’t work on dragons... “HA!” I grabbed a scale as
a souvenir and strutted out of the cavern with a smug look on my badly burnt face.
As I walked up to the entrance to the cave, little snippets of my mother’s voice came back to haunt me. "The dragon is a perfect marriage of power and the will to use it."... “Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dragons lie.”... "The dragon has no pretense of compassion, no false mask of civilization—just hunger, heat, and need."... But I pushed the thoughts from
my mind. The fear of dragons is as old and as powerful as the fear of death itself, but I knew in my heart of hearts that to slay a dragon, my resolve must be stronger than my steel. This was even truer given that all I had on my person was a length of rope, a pack of sugarfree gum and my iPhone which had run out of batteries about an hour earlier. Luckily (or perhaps not, depending on your stance), my rage carried me through the portal and into the lair of the dragon.
As I walked past the broken corpses of a lifetime of hopeful dragon-slayers, my rage began to slip, giving way to the more rational side of my brain. Rather than turn back I called down into the cave to bolster my own confidence. “Dragon! I am Stardust, known as the slayer of dragons and bedder of women! I am no knight or prince or mage, but dozens of your kin have been laid to rest by my sword. Dragonfire forged me a warrior – my flesh can withstand the flame, and the spirit of the dragon burns within my soul! Doom casts its own flickering
shadow, so prepare yourself for my coming, for this day is your last!” As I spewed out this nonsense and lies, I was hopeful that if the dragon felt terror, it would truly be my servant. All the shouting did wonders for my own confidence (stupidity?) at least, and I carried on.
I was a little concerned by the lack of response from below. Everything was silent except for the drip of water from the ceiling and the catchy rock tune that I’m sure was just nagging at the back of my mind. I had expected to just be burned to a crisp after shouting challenges like that, but maybe my confidence was actually working to bend the creature to my will. I’d been counting the number of dead knights as I continued, though the sheer number of them lying with their genitalia exposed caused me to lose count around 60 or 70. I imagined that some might call me gay for an admission like that, but really I was just wondering about the reason why they might have decided to drop their swords and wield their dick instead. Really.
That’s all I was thinking guys, seriously. Whatever, not like it’s going to matter since I’m not making it out of here alive anyway. I resolved that no matter what happened, no matter what mind games or threats this dragon used against me, I would never, ever drop my pants. It’s undignified.
It wasn’t too much longer until I reached the end of the tunnel. There were some loose rocks to one side, indicating that likely the stream that ran through here to carve out the cave in ages past had been blocked by a small collapse. I wondered briefly whether that collapse would have occurred naturally, or if the dragon might have caused it himself. Of course, at that point I remembered what I was doing and realised that the dragon was nowhere in sight. There hadn’t been any turn-offs or bends in the tunnel as far as I remembered. So where did that lizard go?
Suddenly there was movement to my right! I recoiled, expecting to die at any moment, but there was nothing there. Just a big boulder that had obviously
rolled away from the wall during the collapse all that time ago. Then I caught sight of a tiny yellow horn sticking out from behind the rock. That horn moved slightly to reveal a cat-like eye, which quickly disappeared as it realised I was looking at it. I frowned, confused, and walked over to investigate.
What I saw wasn’t so much an apocalypse in dragon form as a... chocobo in dragon form. Yeah, a chocobo. Cute, yellow, and definitely created by a Japanese cartoonist. It shied away from me as I came around the boulder.
“Hey there you little cutie! What are you doing down here?” I asked in as nice a voice as possible.
The deep, booming voice that responded shocked me. “I am the Dragon of Grondok. This is my home.”
“What!? I mean... what? Really? You’re the Dragon of Grondok? You killed all those people and blew that eruption of fire out of here?”
“Never doubt a dragon just because of its size,” it replied back in its booming voice. I felt like I was in one of those movies where some little
cute thing has a really deep voice. I mean, that’s exactly what this was. But I couldn’t remember the name of the movie...
“So what are you doing here?” the Dragon asked me, the booming voice shocking me once again out of my thoughts.
“Oh, yeah, ummm, I actually came here to...” I couldn’t very well say that I was there to kill him. “Hey, can I ask you a question? You killed all those people, right? Why?”
“That was three questions. Yes, yes, and because they were trying to kill me.” The Dragon took up a more casual pose, leaning up against the boulder as he replied. “Either that or they just got tired of waiting for a dragon to eat them. You see, a dragon's scale can be carved into a mighty shield, provided you can procure a dragontooth to cut it. So that’s it for some of them. Some just hate us and believe that it is best to conquer dragons before they hatch, killing as many of us as possible. I mean, while it's true most dragons are cruel, the rest only seek any opportunity to restore the broken
pride of their race.”
“So that’s it? Just kill you because you’re a dragon?”
“Well, I guess that’s not totally accurate. Some barbarians claim we’re cut from the same cloth, if you’ll forgive the expression. Blah blah, language of flame and rage, blah blah, language of fury and honor. Then they go off about some tale of destruction. It gets old, but that part I can handle. It isn’t until they try what the barbarians call ‘touching the soul of the dragon’... yeah, that’s when it’s gone too far.”
“You mean –“
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.” Suddenly it all made sense. “So that’s why all those guys up there have no pants on!”
“Yes, that’s exactly right. Oh, except one of them. He actually tried to kill me with his dick. He tried really really hard. Like, really hard. I felt bad for him, so I ran away and let him tell some of his friends that he’d killed me, but when he came back to do it again I was in a bad mood. So I killed him.”
“Oh. That sucks.” I couldn’t think of anything to say
for a minute, but I was afraid that if the conversation lulled for too long we might end up getting around to talking about eating me or something, so I asked, “What about spell casters and that sort of thing? Can’t they just mind control you or something?”
“Ah, perhaps, but as they say, ‘A dragon will not be ruled.’” said the dragon as if quoting a famous line (though I’d never heard it).
“That may be true, but what about mind tricks? ‘Even a dragon is humble as a kitten if it thinks itself a slave’,” I said, hoping I sounded official enough to make that sound like a real expression.
Without bothering to comment on my invented quote (which I felt was quite clever), the dragon simply said, “When you've got the temperament of a dragon, every argument is one you'll win,” then flashed a toothy grin and licked his lips.
I thought briefly about the implications of that statement, then went dumb. This dragon was going to eat me after all. It may look like a chocobo, but those teeth showed its true
nature. “Well, if you’re going to eat me anyway, why didn’t you just get it over with while I was coming down the cavern!?”
The dragon shrugged. “I didn’t hear you.”
I felt further deflated. Everything clever I’d done so far today was going completely unappreciated. “How is that even possible? I yelled so loud!”
“Did you? Sorry about that.” The dragon actually looked apologetic. “I had just let out that crazy explosion, and every time I do something that epic and destructive I get that song ‘Smoke on the Water’ stuck in my head. You know that song?”
I nodded, still mute. I’d been hearing that same song in my head ever since I stepped foot in the cave.
“Well, you know how to get rid of a song that’s stuck in your head?”
I shook my head, still mute.
“You sing it of course! So I probably didn’t hear you because I was busy singing. It really is a great song. I used to be in a band and we would play that song sometimes, but dragon fire melts any instrument, so I eventually got kicked out. I
still go to karaoke sometimes though.”
“A karaoke singing dragon. I never thought I’d see the day. Care to join me in singing a round?”
“That sounds fantastic! You’re much more fun than most of the people who come down here to kill me!”
With that we both started singing, the music echoing off the cavern walls.
We all came out to Montereax,
On the Lake Geneva shoreline.
To make records with a mobile,
We didn't have much time.
But Frank Zappa and the Mothers,
Were at the best place around,
But some stupid with a flare gun,
Burned the place to the ground.
Smoke on the water and fire in the sky.
Smoke on the water...
They burned down the gambling house,
It died with an awful sound.
(Uh) Funky Claude was running in and out,
Pulling kids out the ground.
When it all was over,
We had to find another place.
But Swiss time was running out,
It seemed that we would lose the race.
Smoke on the water and fire in the sky.
Smoke on the water...
We ended up at the
Grand Hotel.
It was empty cold and bare.
But with the Rolling truck Stones thing just outside,
Making our music there.
With a few red lights, a few old beds,
We made a place to sweat.
No matter what we get out of this,
I know I know we'll never forget.
Smoke on the water and fire in the sky.
Smoke on the water...
As we neared the end of the song, the dragon was getting pretty into it, busting out some sweet licks on his air guitar, he went down on two knees and threw his head back to really give the rock and roll effect. It was sweet. It was also exactly what I’d been waiting for. I took my length of rope, wrapped it tight around my hands, and choked the dragon from behind. He struggled, fire ricocheted off the walls in every direction, but I held tight until the dragon exploded. There was a shower of dragonscales, then nothing more.
When I finally regained consciousness I looked around the room. Mind tricks don’t work on dragons... “HA!” I grabbed a scale as
a souvenir and strutted out of the cavern with a smug look on my badly burnt face.
҉
-
Dragon of Grondok
- Regular Member
- Posts: 143
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2013 8:54 pm
YOU ARE A THOUSAND WORDS SHORT EVEN IF I INCLUDE YOUR SONG LYRICS! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN EDIT YOUR WAY TO A VICTORY, STARDUST?
*sings karaoke all over the place, bombarding the innocent*
Another day
The next page
Still in a daze
Still in a dream
Out of the pipe
My lust for life
Comes
and goes
From above
Demanding purity
Sobriety
Cursing me like a sledge
Hammering down at me
Hammering down
at me
Out of the water-pipe
I suck my lust for life
And all my floating dreams
It seems
Up on the gallery
God shouting down at me
Something I can not hear
Tears falling from the sky
Words from a lullaby
Everything beautiful dies
For now, we're hanging in
Though we are blessed with sin
You make my tired heart sing
You can be a sunbeam
And shine for a while
For a while
You can laugh a lot
And bring out that smile
For now we're hanging in
Even though we're blessed with sin
You make my heart...
nYou make my tired heart sing
Tears falling from the sky...
I'm on a tender trip
Slowly I'm loosing grip
Madness is in the air I fear
Stay, you're my acid-queen
Stay on my faded team
Run through the corridor with me
Tears falling from the sky
Words from a lullaby
Everything beautiful dies
For now, we're hanging in
Though we are blessed with sin
You make my tired heart sing
Tears falling from the sky
Words from a lullaby
Everything beautiful dies
For now, we're hanging in
Though we are blessed with sin
You make my tired heart sing
Tears falling from the sky
Words from a lullaby
Everything beautiful dies
For now, we're hanging in
Though we are blessed with sin
You make my tired heart sing
*sings karaoke all over the place, bombarding the innocent*
Another day
The next page
Still in a daze
Still in a dream
Out of the pipe
My lust for life
Comes
and goes
From above
Demanding purity
Sobriety
Cursing me like a sledge
Hammering down at me
Hammering down
at me
Out of the water-pipe
I suck my lust for life
And all my floating dreams
It seems
Up on the gallery
God shouting down at me
Something I can not hear
Tears falling from the sky
Words from a lullaby
Everything beautiful dies
For now, we're hanging in
Though we are blessed with sin
You make my tired heart sing
You can be a sunbeam
And shine for a while
For a while
You can laugh a lot
And bring out that smile
For now we're hanging in
Even though we're blessed with sin
You make my heart...
nYou make my tired heart sing
Tears falling from the sky...
I'm on a tender trip
Slowly I'm loosing grip
Madness is in the air I fear
Stay, you're my acid-queen
Stay on my faded team
Run through the corridor with me
Tears falling from the sky
Words from a lullaby
Everything beautiful dies
For now, we're hanging in
Though we are blessed with sin
You make my tired heart sing
Tears falling from the sky
Words from a lullaby
Everything beautiful dies
For now, we're hanging in
Though we are blessed with sin
You make my tired heart sing
Tears falling from the sky
Words from a lullaby
Everything beautiful dies
For now, we're hanging in
Though we are blessed with sin
You make my tired heart sing
-
DroppinSuga
- Tire Aficionado
- Posts: 8095
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2013 1:32 am
-
Stardust
- Oozes fabulousness!!!
- Posts: 6040
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2013 11:56 pm
-
DroppinSuga
- Tire Aficionado
- Posts: 8095
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2013 1:32 am
-
imopen2
- Tire Aficionado
- Posts: 6066
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:59 am
-
iamabadman
- Defender of GRR
- Posts: 9315
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:58 pm
- Location: Where angels fear to tread.
i cant manage 300 words,yet 3000 words, fuck you dragon.
shit do you need 3000 words just to post:
With my epic zweihänder I wield in my right hand and my tower shield in the other clad in my warrior's finest chain mail, i walk up to the dragon and let out a mighty roar. as the dragon returns the sound i leap high in the air and slam my tower shield into its throat. while reeling from the blow the dragon breathes its deadly fire into my face. luckily, the witch's enchantment protects me from it's wicked breath. i pull my sword arm back to swing, but the dragon's talon blocks the follow through. i spit in his face to taunt him. enraged, the dragon tries to spew his vicious breathe weapon at me again. I dodge, not knowing if the enchantment would still withstand. Not something i would like to test either. with my great sword still trapped, i bash the dragon again, into his wrist. the dragon slashes at me with his
other claw, ripping into my forehead. Blood blinding my sight, i dig deep into myself and rip my sword from the beasts grasp and dropping my shield. I grip it tight with both hands, as I run into its gaping maw. Thrusting my sword in to the roof of its mouth, deep into its brain. It thrashes about as I cling on, hoping it doesn't swallow me. Another burst of its dragon's fire swells into its throat. Guess its time to see if the witch's enchantment can still protect me. its thrashes its death throes as i'm hit with a large blast.
finally it dies, with its head crashing down, a lone shadow appears from it's mouth. the shadow cleans off its sword, then picks up its shield. it checks its self of any injuries. the dust settles, and the figure now has a draconian appearance. 'I am no longer human' says the being 'I am much more.' With a mighty roar the creature sprouts dragon wings. 'I NOW HAVE THE FORM OF THE DRAGON' It bellowed loudly. The witch lied about staying human!' he continued. 'My fellow order knights will hunted dragon me down!. 'Under the moonveil dragon to our homelands in Shivan dragon, I will not know rest!' the dragon man sits on the slain dragon's lifeless palm. 'I will not rest until i sink my dragon fangs into that she-devil's neck!' He grips his sword, his body now fully encased in dragon scales. 'I must get my vengeance. No longer am I the exalted dragon dragonstalker of these terrible beasts but now I am feared like the dragon arch that mark their territories. My dragon shadow will strike fear into the same i swore to protect. I have [card=shifted]dragonshift[/card:
27mr3c60] into a monster from the [card=pit!]rakdos pit dragon[/card] This witch will give me dragon appeasement or she shall feel the true meaning of a terrible [card=death!]death by dragons[/card]
I stand from the claw, a terrible mist dragon encloses around me, as a terrible hypersonic dragoncry pierces my ears. 'What is this dragonstorm in my head?' I cry as a shaman approaches me with a knight and a weary but battleworn warrior. 'Who are you? Why must you torment me?' as I clutch my head. "Peace with you our new god' spoke the shaman. "OnlyDragonspeaker shaman, but my companions are like you too.' He motions to the knight 'He is holds dragonsoul knight and he,' the shaman
points to the scraggly looking warrior' is a Kargan Dragonlord.' We are here to pay our due respects.' I snort at the last line, 'what respect? I am no longer a man, but a scion of the ur-dragonof destruction'. 'Ah,' interjected the shaman ' a scion indeed, of our religion, but not now, for you must slumbering dragon for you to achieve perferction.' I scoff as the two other men grab my arms. 'What are you doing?' I shout but to no avail. 'Right now you are just a fledgling dragon, a dragon whelp, but when you reawaken, you shall rain brimstone dragon and balefire dragon on your enemies.' The shaman sprinkles a powder on me. I struggle but to no avail, as i drift into sleep...
I awaken, in my
ultimate form.
Nicol Bolas
When I awoke, I seen a crowd of people. I knew what they wanted, so I told them 'Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-air In west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground where I spent most of my days Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school When a couple of guys, they were up to no good Started making trouble in my neighborhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared And said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air" I whistled for a cab and when it came near the License plate said "fresh" and had a dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight And I yelled to the cabby "Yo, homes
smell you later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-air'
A lone woman stood up in the crowd, beautiful as the day is long, and told me a story that helped ease my fears, she told me a story from her country. She told me 'Let me tell you a story Story of a man Who wants to be a god God of the wind He dressed to brown. Brown leather clothes He used a bone mace And ate mushrooms He lived in the woods There trees are huge Only friends were trolls Who were all the time drunk He saw nightmare There big bad bear Ran behind him And shouted these words: If you want to be a god of wind You have to beat me If you want to be a god of wind You must take my skin If you want to be a god of wind You must use my nails If you want to be a god of wind You must be like me, must be like bear'
I knew after that, I was in love. i told her We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any
other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh, give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your
heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you'
and that is how I became the ultimate being
shit do you need 3000 words just to post:
With my epic zweihänder I wield in my right hand and my tower shield in the other clad in my warrior's finest chain mail, i walk up to the dragon and let out a mighty roar. as the dragon returns the sound i leap high in the air and slam my tower shield into its throat. while reeling from the blow the dragon breathes its deadly fire into my face. luckily, the witch's enchantment protects me from it's wicked breath. i pull my sword arm back to swing, but the dragon's talon blocks the follow through. i spit in his face to taunt him. enraged, the dragon tries to spew his vicious breathe weapon at me again. I dodge, not knowing if the enchantment would still withstand. Not something i would like to test either. with my great sword still trapped, i bash the dragon again, into his wrist. the dragon slashes at me with his
other claw, ripping into my forehead. Blood blinding my sight, i dig deep into myself and rip my sword from the beasts grasp and dropping my shield. I grip it tight with both hands, as I run into its gaping maw. Thrusting my sword in to the roof of its mouth, deep into its brain. It thrashes about as I cling on, hoping it doesn't swallow me. Another burst of its dragon's fire swells into its throat. Guess its time to see if the witch's enchantment can still protect me. its thrashes its death throes as i'm hit with a large blast.
finally it dies, with its head crashing down, a lone shadow appears from it's mouth. the shadow cleans off its sword, then picks up its shield. it checks its self of any injuries. the dust settles, and the figure now has a draconian appearance. 'I am no longer human' says the being 'I am much more.' With a mighty roar the creature sprouts dragon wings. 'I NOW HAVE THE FORM OF THE DRAGON' It bellowed loudly. The witch lied about staying human!' he continued. 'My fellow order knights will hunted dragon me down!. 'Under the moonveil dragon to our homelands in Shivan dragon, I will not know rest!' the dragon man sits on the slain dragon's lifeless palm. 'I will not rest until i sink my dragon fangs into that she-devil's neck!' He grips his sword, his body now fully encased in dragon scales. 'I must get my vengeance. No longer am I the exalted dragon dragonstalker of these terrible beasts but now I am feared like the dragon arch that mark their territories. My dragon shadow will strike fear into the same i swore to protect. I have [card=shifted]dragonshift[/card:
27mr3c60] into a monster from the [card=pit!]rakdos pit dragon[/card] This witch will give me dragon appeasement or she shall feel the true meaning of a terrible [card=death!]death by dragons[/card]
I stand from the claw, a terrible mist dragon encloses around me, as a terrible hypersonic dragoncry pierces my ears. 'What is this dragonstorm in my head?' I cry as a shaman approaches me with a knight and a weary but battleworn warrior. 'Who are you? Why must you torment me?' as I clutch my head. "Peace with you our new god' spoke the shaman. "OnlyDragonspeaker shaman, but my companions are like you too.' He motions to the knight 'He is holds dragonsoul knight and he,' the shaman
points to the scraggly looking warrior' is a Kargan Dragonlord.' We are here to pay our due respects.' I snort at the last line, 'what respect? I am no longer a man, but a scion of the ur-dragonof destruction'. 'Ah,' interjected the shaman ' a scion indeed, of our religion, but not now, for you must slumbering dragon for you to achieve perferction.' I scoff as the two other men grab my arms. 'What are you doing?' I shout but to no avail. 'Right now you are just a fledgling dragon, a dragon whelp, but when you reawaken, you shall rain brimstone dragon and balefire dragon on your enemies.' The shaman sprinkles a powder on me. I struggle but to no avail, as i drift into sleep...
I awaken, in my
ultimate form.
Nicol Bolas
When I awoke, I seen a crowd of people. I knew what they wanted, so I told them 'Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-air In west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground where I spent most of my days Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school When a couple of guys, they were up to no good Started making trouble in my neighborhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared And said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air" I whistled for a cab and when it came near the License plate said "fresh" and had a dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight And I yelled to the cabby "Yo, homes
smell you later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-air'
A lone woman stood up in the crowd, beautiful as the day is long, and told me a story that helped ease my fears, she told me a story from her country. She told me 'Let me tell you a story Story of a man Who wants to be a god God of the wind He dressed to brown. Brown leather clothes He used a bone mace And ate mushrooms He lived in the woods There trees are huge Only friends were trolls Who were all the time drunk He saw nightmare There big bad bear Ran behind him And shouted these words: If you want to be a god of wind You have to beat me If you want to be a god of wind You must take my skin If you want to be a god of wind You must use my nails If you want to be a god of wind You must be like me, must be like bear'
I knew after that, I was in love. i told her We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any
other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh, give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your
heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you'
and that is how I became the ultimate being
-
Dragon of Grondok
- Regular Member
- Posts: 143
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2013 8:54 pm
-
Tom Servo
- Tire Aficionado
- Posts: 1580
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:34 pm
- Location: Electric Avenue
- Contact:
GO Lapras!
Eric, Ren and Jensen were activists
Heads loaded with theory, their hearts are filled with passion
Shared the same left wing politics
Liked the same music, they were part of the protest movement
Now, Anna presented herself as a feminist
Studied the way they talked and dressed
Fashioned herself an anarchist
Eric fell in love with Anna at the meeting of the crime think conference
He didn't know it but Anna was an FBI informant
Heads loaded with theory, their hearts are filled with passion
Shared the same left wing politics
Liked the same music, they were part of the protest movement
Now, Anna presented herself as a feminist
Studied the way they talked and dressed
Fashioned herself an anarchist
Eric fell in love with Anna at the meeting of the crime think conference
He didn't know it but Anna was an FBI informant
-
Tom Servo
- Tire Aficionado
- Posts: 1580
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:34 pm
- Location: Electric Avenue
- Contact:
Lapras, use Ice Beam!
You cannot make another post so soon after your last.
You cannot make another post so soon after your last.
Eric, Ren and Jensen were activists
Heads loaded with theory, their hearts are filled with passion
Shared the same left wing politics
Liked the same music, they were part of the protest movement
Now, Anna presented herself as a feminist
Studied the way they talked and dressed
Fashioned herself an anarchist
Eric fell in love with Anna at the meeting of the crime think conference
He didn't know it but Anna was an FBI informant
Heads loaded with theory, their hearts are filled with passion
Shared the same left wing politics
Liked the same music, they were part of the protest movement
Now, Anna presented herself as a feminist
Studied the way they talked and dressed
Fashioned herself an anarchist
Eric fell in love with Anna at the meeting of the crime think conference
He didn't know it but Anna was an FBI informant
-
Tom Servo
- Tire Aficionado
- Posts: 1580
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:34 pm
- Location: Electric Avenue
- Contact:
Lapras... it's too quiet
Eric, Ren and Jensen were activists
Heads loaded with theory, their hearts are filled with passion
Shared the same left wing politics
Liked the same music, they were part of the protest movement
Now, Anna presented herself as a feminist
Studied the way they talked and dressed
Fashioned herself an anarchist
Eric fell in love with Anna at the meeting of the crime think conference
He didn't know it but Anna was an FBI informant
Heads loaded with theory, their hearts are filled with passion
Shared the same left wing politics
Liked the same music, they were part of the protest movement
Now, Anna presented herself as a feminist
Studied the way they talked and dressed
Fashioned herself an anarchist
Eric fell in love with Anna at the meeting of the crime think conference
He didn't know it but Anna was an FBI informant
-
DroppinSuga
- Tire Aficionado
- Posts: 8095
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2013 1:32 am
-
iamabadman
- Defender of GRR
- Posts: 9315
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:58 pm
- Location: Where angels fear to tread.
-
Tom Servo
- Tire Aficionado
- Posts: 1580
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:34 pm
- Location: Electric Avenue
- Contact:
Checkbox did something similar, but I wouldn't call it seduction
Eric, Ren and Jensen were activists
Heads loaded with theory, their hearts are filled with passion
Shared the same left wing politics
Liked the same music, they were part of the protest movement
Now, Anna presented herself as a feminist
Studied the way they talked and dressed
Fashioned herself an anarchist
Eric fell in love with Anna at the meeting of the crime think conference
He didn't know it but Anna was an FBI informant
Heads loaded with theory, their hearts are filled with passion
Shared the same left wing politics
Liked the same music, they were part of the protest movement
Now, Anna presented herself as a feminist
Studied the way they talked and dressed
Fashioned herself an anarchist
Eric fell in love with Anna at the meeting of the crime think conference
He didn't know it but Anna was an FBI informant
-
iamabadman
- Defender of GRR
- Posts: 9315
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:58 pm
- Location: Where angels fear to tread.
-
Col. Khaddafi
- Regular Scumbag
- Posts: 9956
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:52 pm
- Location: Manasjap madness
I feed myself with AngerfishDo you ever feed it anglerfish?That's called the esca, like the one the anglerfish has coming off its head.Aww, it has a pink firefly tail, that's adorable!
I have a black cat with a white-tipped tail named Esca.
Originally posted by Galspanic on MTGS 
I would still like to see the posts sent over to ( N_S ) and have the Salvation Gutter archived away and replaced with a link to MTGC.
-
Col. Khaddafi
- Regular Scumbag
- Posts: 9956
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:52 pm
- Location: Manasjap madness
Oh shit, I've accidentally stumbled in a Dragon battle.
NvM, I'm taking my anger to another zone.
NvM, I'm taking my anger to another zone.
Originally posted by Galspanic on MTGS
I would still like to see the posts sent over to ( N_S ) and have the Salvation Gutter archived away and replaced with a link to MTGC.
-
Slowpoke
- Regular Member
- Posts: 105
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Fri May 10, 2013 12:18 pm
-
Col. Khaddafi
- Regular Scumbag
- Posts: 9956
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:52 pm
- Location: Manasjap madness
That's because you're a filthy liar and you didn't do shit with your dick.
No more tavern wenches for you, failure of page 109.
No more tavern wenches for you, failure of page 109.
Originally posted by Galspanic on MTGS
I would still like to see the posts sent over to ( N_S ) and have the Salvation Gutter archived away and replaced with a link to MTGC.
-
iamabadman
- Defender of GRR
- Posts: 9315
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:58 pm
- Location: Where angels fear to tread.
-
Dragon of Grondok
- Regular Member
- Posts: 143
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2013 8:54 pm
-
Dragon of Grondok
- Regular Member
- Posts: 143
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2013 8:54 pm
-
DroppinSuga
- Tire Aficionado
- Posts: 8095
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Sat Jun 15, 2013 1:32 am
-
Tom Servo
- Tire Aficionado
- Posts: 1580
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:34 pm
- Location: Electric Avenue
- Contact:
Lapras, the dragon didn't even notice you, you piece of shit turtle whale!
Eric, Ren and Jensen were activists
Heads loaded with theory, their hearts are filled with passion
Shared the same left wing politics
Liked the same music, they were part of the protest movement
Now, Anna presented herself as a feminist
Studied the way they talked and dressed
Fashioned herself an anarchist
Eric fell in love with Anna at the meeting of the crime think conference
He didn't know it but Anna was an FBI informant
Heads loaded with theory, their hearts are filled with passion
Shared the same left wing politics
Liked the same music, they were part of the protest movement
Now, Anna presented herself as a feminist
Studied the way they talked and dressed
Fashioned herself an anarchist
Eric fell in love with Anna at the meeting of the crime think conference
He didn't know it but Anna was an FBI informant
-
( G_R )
- Tire Aficionado
- Posts: 14646
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:15 am
- Location: Mania
-
Dragon of Grondok
- Regular Member
- Posts: 143
(View: POSTS_VIEWTOPIC /POSTS_VIEWTOPIC_INTO) - Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2013 8:54 pm
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