Blatherdome 4: My Resignation

[Pendulum]

I wonder if people are catching on that Sally is a blonde. Like the most stereotypical blonde ever.

nBlondes are cunts. Trust me.

Oh God yeah. Dating one is just asking to be woken up decockified one night.

It turns out that there is an epidemic of Thai women cutting off their husbands' penises for cheating. After the removal, to prevent reattachment, they feed said appendages to ducks. They feed dicks. To ducks.

Source: Boink, by Mary Roach

Ah, the timeless ritual of Dick Ducking. A fine choice for a scorned female.

Wouldn't that be duck dicking?

[Kaitscralt]

Wow the garbage in my kitchen smells like actual death

[Kazekirimaru]

Wouldn't that be duck dicking?

I considered both. Dick ducking sounds correct due to the dick getting subjected to the duck and the dick being the main subject of the action and everything.

[Slammu]

pubes rarely diverge from brown/black

If you were as cool as Bill Nye, you'd tell us why that is. Scientist.

[Kazekirimaru]

Wow the garbage in my kitchen smells like actual death

You should probably make your mother leave, then.

[Kaitscralt]

They call it duck duck goose

[Kaitscralt]

Wow the garbage in my kitchen smells like actual death

You should probably make your mother leave, then.

I'm going to give this lame ass post a pass since you're in grieving

[Thrillho]

that was in poor taste it is a well known fact that madding's mother is dead that was very rude

[Kazekirimaru]

that was in poor taste it is a well known fact that madding's mother is dead that was very rude

This explains the scent of death.

[Thrillho]

rude

[Kaitscralt]

Lame ass post a pass is something of a tongue twister

[Kazekirimaru]

It was in good humor, at least.

[Slammu]

I wonder if people are catching on that Sally is a blonde. Like the most stereotypical blonde ever.

Blondes are cunts. Trust me.

Oh God yeah. Dating one is just asking to be woken up decockified one night.

It turns out that there is an epidemic of Thai women cutting off their husbands' penises for cheating. After the removal, to prevent reattachment, they feed said appendages to ducks. They feed dicks. To ducks.

Source: Boink, by Mary Roach

Ah, the timeless ritual of Dick Ducking. A fine choice for a scorned female.

Wouldn't that be duck dicking?

No. Duck dicking is where you actively dick a duck, not where your dick is passively ducked. Kaze must be correct. (I think it's like
Dwarf Giant vs. Giant Dwarf.)

[Kaitscralt]

I keep my canned goods in my dead mom

[Pendulum]

@Kaze: Yeah, people keep telling me I should write a blog or something, and I probably should, but all the stories have this way of tying in together, making it difficult... some of our residents are pretty out there and they usually find a way to pull themselves into the drama storm. My favorite is probably the Mexican Travelling Sex Workers who found their way into my camp, but I tend to get a stronger reaction from the story about the time the S.W.A.T. team invaded.

[iamabadman]

It's always the days I have little time that you fucks actually post.

#Iknowthatfeelbro
I dislike those times when we're running a good spam-chain and my job throws some random-ass crisis at me, like one of the campers spontaneously combusted or something.

dude, camp grounds are hotbeds of insanity but you know this

[Slammu]

that was in poor taste it is a well known fact that madding's mother is dead that was very rude

This explains the scent of death.

The first post was Checkbox level tryharding. This post was pretty goddamned funny. (But really fucked up, and you should be ashamed of yourself.)

[Pendulum]

We're dickering about duck dicking!

[Slammu]

@Kaze: Yeah, people keep telling me I should write a blog or something, and I probably should, but all the stories have this way of tying in together, making it difficult... some of our residents are pretty out there and they usually find a way to pull themselves into the drama storm. My favorite is probably the Mexican Travelling Sex Workers who found their way into my camp, but I tend to get a stronger reaction from the story about the time the S.W.A.T. team invaded.

No you shouldn't. 999/1000 blogs should not exist. Unless you're a professional entertainer, you shouldn't be blogging. What you should do is congeal and exaggerate them into a good book like Shit my Dad Says.

[iamabadman]

@Kaze: Yeah, people keep telling me I should write a blog or something, and I probably should, but all the stories have this way of tying in together, making it difficult... some of our residents are pretty out there and they usually find a way to pull themselves into the drama storm. My favorite is probably the Mexican Travelling Sex Workers who found their way into my camp, but I tend to get a stronger reaction from the story about the time the S.W.A.T. team invaded.

DETAILS ON BOTH!

[Kazekirimaru]

@Kaze: Yeah, people keep telling me I should write a blog or something, and I probably should, but all the stories have this way of tying in together, making it difficult... some of our residents are pretty out there and they usually find a way to pull themselves into the drama storm. My favorite is probably the Mexican Travelling Sex Workers who found their way into my camp, but I tend to get a stronger reaction from the story about the time the S.W.A.T. team invaded.

DETAILS ON BOTH!

/barn

[Slammu]

Better make this shit good. Or I will relentlessly mock you forever.

[iamabadman]

@Kaze: Yeah, people keep telling me I should write a blog or something, and I probably should, but all the stories have this way of tying in together, making it difficult... some of our residents are pretty out there and they usually find a way to pull themselves into the drama storm. My favorite is probably the Mexican Travelling Sex Workers who found their way into my camp, but I tend to get a stronger reaction from the story about the time the S.W.A.
T. team invaded.

DETAILS ON BOTH!

/barn

im pretty sure you have a penis

[iamabadman]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/syria- ... :1:Default

[Sir Sapphire the 3rd]

fuck. The bears have come.

[Pendulum]

Oh, jeez, here we go.

Pretty early on in the season, at like 8 in the morning and I just woke up, this tricked-out camper rolls into the parking lot; nothing too ostentatious but a lot of lights on the outside. The door opens, and this older, large Latin woman comes out, followed by five or six extremely attractive Latin girls, between the ages of 18 (I hope) and like 24. They start walking to the office, and I can see inside their unit there are at least a couple more girls in there, so I know there's something weird going on, but I'm figuring, like, a group from a school or something. So the madame and her group come in, and they're very polite; they pay for a month and I put them down in one of the sites that well away from the other campers 'cuz I'm not a moron. The next day, one of the... more insane of our alcoholics comes in, walks right up to me and hugs me. I decide to investigate,
and they have this informal patio set up over at their site, and what's going on is that whenever anyone walks past them in their secluded spot, a couple of the girls will walk over to them, just start grinding on them (think Miley Cyrus), then try to draw them over to a chair and start giving the person a free lap dance to entice them into taking one of the girls back to the person's unit with them. I kick them out, of course, but let me tell you, it's a damn surreal experience trying to talk to the madame while some hot Latin chick is twerking on you. I head back to the office, and by the time I get the cops down to the grounds they're already gone. Later, I come to find out they've been doing this for years, and they just travel from place to place, apparently making enough money in one night to afford to keep doing it. It sounds insanely dangerous to me, but they probably weren't even legal immigrants to the country so there ya go. (By the way, for those of you who are confused, prostitution
is illegal here.)

The SWAT team thing is a lot more straightforward, this idiot who is wanted in several states checked in at the hotel that is "relatively" close (about a mile away) but didn't realize they run a background check on their guests, so next thing he knows a police cruiser shows up. He jumps out his window and starts running in our direction. So the cop calls the SWAT team and the next thing I know there's three helicopters buzzing the place, black hummers with goddamn machine guns mounted on them rolling into the camp, and guys in full black body armor carrying big-ass guns hiding in the bushes. Some of the campers tell stories of walking along when all the sudden this guy dressed up like a robot ninja pops out the woods and starts giving them complex hand signals designed to be intuitively understood regardless of the camper's spoken language.
The criminal never got anywhere near the park, by the way, they picked him up on the road.

[Kazekirimaru]

Just another day in the life of Pendulum.

[( G_R )]

Oh, jeez, here we go.

Pretty early SWAT team.

That's all I read.

[Pendulum]

Better make this shit good. Or I will relentlessly mock you forever.

How'd I do?

[Sir Sapphire the 3rd]

Oh, jeez, here we go.

Pretty early on in the season, at like 8 in the morning and I just woke up, this tricked-out camper rolls into the parking lot; nothing too ostentatious but a lot of lights on the outside. The door opens, and this older, large Latin woman comes out, followed by five or six extremely attractive Latin girls, between the ages of 18 (I hope) and like 24. They start walking to the office, and I can see inside their unit there are at least a couple more girls in there, so I know there's something weird going on, but I'm figuring, like, a group from a school or something. So the madame and her group come in, and they're very polite; they pay for a month and I put them down in one of the sites that well away from the other
campers 'cuz I'm not a moron. The next day, one of the... more insane of our alcoholics comes in, walks right up to me and hugs me. I decide to investigate, and they have this informal patio set up over at their site, and what's going on is that whenever anyone walks past them in their secluded spot, a couple of the girls will walk over to them, just start grinding on them (think Miley Cyrus), then try to draw them over to a chair and start giving the person a free lap dance to entice them into taking one of the girls back to the person's unit with them. I kick them out, of course, but let me tell you, it's a damn surreal experience trying to talk to the madame while some hot Latin chick is twerking on you. I head back to the office, and by the time I get the cops down to the grounds they're already gone. Later, I come to find out they've been doing this for years, and they just travel from place to place, apparently making enough money in one night to afford to keep doing it. It sounds insanely
dangerous to me, but they probably weren't even legal immigrants to the country so there ya go. (By the way, for those of you who are confused, prostitution is illegal here.)

The SWAT team thing is a lot more straightforward, this idiot who is wanted in several states checked in at the hotel that is "relatively" close (about a mile away) but didn't realize they run a background check on their guests, so next thing he knows a police cruiser shows up. He jumps out his window and starts running in our direction. So the cop calls the SWAT team and the next thing I know there's three helicopters buzzing the place, black hummers with goddamn machine guns mounted on them rolling into the camp, and guys in full black body armor carrying big-ass guns hiding in the bushes. Some of the campers tell stories of walking along when all the sudden this guy dressed up like a robot ninja pops out the woods and starts giving them complex hand signals designed to be intuitively understood regardless of the
camper's spoken language.
The criminal never got anywhere near the park, by the way, they picked him up on the road.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWJpZad8zU8

[Pendulum]

Users browsing this forum: Pendulum and 0 guests
Lol I killed the thread.

[Alex]

Especially one that divorced you

She didn't initiate the divorce, I did? She got offered a position in Tokyo, and I didn't really want to go, so we just decided to cut our losses, do our own thing, and if we were still as close later on down the line as we were when we spent basically every waking minute together (and we're still pretty darn close, I don't think either of us ever stopped loving one another) then we'd just do it all over again.

Nothing wrong with choosing different paths in life, a lot of shit can change, and like many people have said, getting married that young was a big part of it. There were no hard feelings between us or
anything, it was more like "I really want to do this, and I know you want to do that, so it's all good." I'd say we handled it like adults despite the naivety that it blossomed from. I still love the SHIT out of her and if she were to come back to the States I'd almost assuredly move back to Orlando if only to be close. She's my best friend, and as someone with pretty blatant Asperger's, it's generally very hard for me to feel feels correctly, but I know exactly how I feel about Natalie, and that's so worth the nonsense we went through for me.

[Sir Sapphire the 3rd]

decided Slowpoke is better for my RAPTR account

[iamabadman]

Oh, jeez, here we go.

Pretty early on in the season, at like 8 in the morning and I just woke up, this tricked-out camper rolls into the parking lot; nothing too ostentatious but a lot of lights on the outside. The door opens, and this older, large Latin woman comes out, followed by five or six extremely attractive Latin girls, between the ages of 18 (I hope) and like 24. They start walking to the office, and I can see inside their unit there are at least a couple more girls in there, so I know there's something weird going on, but I'm figuring, like, a group from a school or something. So the madame and her group come in, and they're very polite; they pay for a month and I put them down in one of the sites that well away from the other
campers 'cuz I'm not a moron. The next day, one of the... more insane of our alcoholics comes in, walks right up to me and hugs me. I decide to investigate, and they have this informal patio set up over at their site, and what's going on is that whenever anyone walks past them in their secluded spot, a couple of the girls will walk over to them, just start grinding on them (think Miley Cyrus), then try to draw them over to a chair and start giving the person a free lap dance to entice them into taking one of the girls back to the person's unit with them. I kick them out, of course, but let me tell you, it's a damn surreal experience trying to talk to the madame while some hot Latin chick is twerking on you. I head back to the office, and by the time I get the cops down to the grounds they're already gone. Later, I come to find out they've been doing this for years, and they just travel from place to place, apparently making enough money in one night to afford to keep doing it. It sounds insanely
dangerous to me, but they probably weren't even legal immigrants to the country so there ya go. (By the way, for those of you who are confused, prostitution is illegal here.)

The SWAT team thing is a lot more straightforward, this idiot who is wanted in several states checked in at the hotel that is "relatively" close (about a mile away) but didn't realize they run a background check on their guests, so next thing he knows a police cruiser shows up. He jumps out his window and starts running in our direction. So the cop calls the SWAT team and the next thing I know there's three helicopters buzzing the place, black hummers with goddamn machine guns mounted on them rolling into the camp, and guys in full black body armor carrying big-ass guns hiding in the bushes. Some of the campers tell stories of walking along when all the sudden this guy dressed up like a robot ninja pops out the woods and starts giving them complex hand signals designed to be intuitively understood regardless of the
camper's spoken language.
The criminal never got anywhere near the park, by the way, they picked him up on the road.

both stories are pretty epic.

[iamabadman]

Especially one that divorced you

She didn't initiate the divorce, I did? She got offered a position in Tokyo, and I didn't really want to go, so we just decided to cut our losses, do our own thing, and if we were still as close later on down the line as we were when we spent basically every waking minute together (and we're still pretty darn close, I don't think either of us ever stopped loving one another) then we'd just do it all over again.

Nothing wrong with choosing different paths in
life, a lot of shit can change, and like many people have said, getting married that young was a big part of it. There were no hard feelings between us or anything, it was more like "I really want to do this, and I know you want to do that, so it's all good." I'd say we handled it like adults despite the naivety that it blossomed from. I still love the SHIT out of her and if she were to come back to the States I'd almost assuredly move back to Orlando if only to be close. She's my best friend, and as someone with pretty blatant Asperger's, it's generally very hard for me to feel feels correctly, but I know exactly how I feel about Natalie, and that's so worth the nonsense we went through for me.

lol love, you faggot.

[Alex]

lol love, you faggot.

I think FoS would be more shocked to find out that not only do I have the capability to love, but I don't even love a man. Shock, I know.

[Sir Sapphire the 3rd]

Pussies

[Second Harkius]

I skipped these walls of text. Someone gimme a tl;dr

[Alex]

I skipped these walls of text. Someone gimme a tl;dr

tl;dr: Girls smell nice.

[Pendulum]

Also every day my job tries to find new and interesting ways to fuck me over.